Project time. Put on those thinking caps.

I am on the lookout for a projector. I have a couple of things I want to cut out of vinyl contact paper that I can design on my computer but need to be bigger than 8.5×11. These are things for my car. I figure I could project them onto the wall and either draw them directly on the vinyl or onto a stencil to use in cutting out the design.

I also have this idea that I need essentially a stiff box the size of a shoe box but only half the length. It would be just as deep and mostly square-ish. I plan to cut out the bottom and mount two of them on the wall and make charging stations by my front door. Yes, I can see it in my mind’s eye, I just need the actual boxes. If anyone has any suggestions or boxes that they would like to give up for the project, let me know.

Slept from 2am to 9am, got up at 10am for a 10am appointment. Ran out the door with shake in hand.

It was a big pull-it-all-together day in therapy. It looks like the 24 hours down on Sat was needed to process things that had been kicked up. The very detailed dream I had from about 9:45am to 10am as I fought to wake up and confirm that my appointment was at 10 seemed to be a story that provided a framework for understanding the different parts I am playing in my own process. We were able to define the roles of Guardian, growing young boy, younger sister and basketball hero. We didn’t managed to get the social worker fully defined.

it got really long

I had 24 hours down all through Sat. Followed by 24 hours up, all through Sunday.
I had a ham, cheese and pickle sandwich early early this morning, followed by hometown buffet stuffed to the gills around 11am followed by two slices of pizza (potato and roasted garlic pesto and a slice of cheese) around 6pm. Ice cream sandwich when I got home around 7pm. and I have spent the last 5 hours searching the internet for graphic stuff and IMing with a few people.

I am tired, but not up for 24 hours tired.

For those that are concerned, I have been awake since 1am this morning. I think I had a nap for maybe half and hour to an hour around 8 and am now currently sitting in the SF library (4pm) after spending a couple hours with a friend before he had to go to work.

I am up, I am out of the house, I am in a different city, I have walked around the Castro, I have talked with people, I am surrounded by people and books.

I did eat a whopping breakfast at Hometown buffet since my food intake has been previously low. I have a craving for potato, garlic, pesto pizza now due to where my friend at lunch. But I am still pretty full.

Part of me is glad people are noticing that I am screwing things up. Part of me completely blows it off and knows I have it in hand. This is all within my capabilities. I think I am sort of trying to find out where it finally leaves my capabilities.

I have written a lot of stuff that will be showing up in my LJ over the next few days I think. It is easy to write with my eyes closed trying to sleep. Much harder once I open them and have to deal with the physical world. I feel like at least two dimensions are shaved off to fit into this 3D existence. Dreamland is a much more desirable place to be.

New record. 24 hours down. Went to bed at midnight. Woke up in the morning, drank a shake, watched an hour of tv, rolled over and slept some more. Back awake at 1am a day later. There was no Saturday in my timeline. Down to one meal in a day.

It will be really nice when this phase is over. I wonder what the next one will be.

“It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams.”
Fireflies – Owl City.

I am back from Loscon and very tired.

It is weird to be so connected (electronically) to people, events, things before going and then being cut off the internet completely. I really didn’t miss it, other than making some sort of status via FB (it is probably a good thing I am not on Twitter. I would clog it with the misc that floats through my head all the time and then everyone would get a clue about how busy and odd it is in there).

So there was a weekend of delightfully intense people interactions and making events work on the fly. Tear Down was delightful. I started at almost full steam and kept going two hours after the rest of Ops sat down for dinner. Even after we went to bed, my body decided it wasn’t done and it stayed revved up all night. Around 4am when I was tired of trying to lie still and having my legs doing the toss and turn game, I got up and did some leg lifts and push ups to wear me out. It got my body a little more still but I still watched hours go by. I know I got some sleep in there but not much.

I was energized and hitting every internet account I had pretty much to the last moment before leaving. It was strange to not have piles and piles waiting for me when I got home since I wasn’t here to go through it. But there was enough waiting for me that it has kept me up and moving for about 4 hours. I feel very similar to how I felt last night. It will be interesting to see how well I sleep tonight.

It looks like many of the people I know had a good weekend either at Dickens, Sorcerer con or Chicago Tardis. A few even had a good time with the traditional holiday with the family.

Something worth noting: After working at full speed taking down the art show and carrying things out to the dock, I was walking back to get more stuff by myself and I found I was walking very straight with a purposeful stride and feeling really good. I had made it through the over-heating/panic part of exercise and physical labor and found a place where I was glad I was moving. This happens rarely. If I could figure out a way to hit this place while exercising, there is a huge chance I would include that in my life. I might still need to kick in the butt to get me started, but it wouldn’t be something I don’t do because it makes me feel worse than not doing it.

I am also surprised at how well I did and how long I went and how I didn’t just fall flat on my face afterwards. Especially since I have had little to no exercise for months. Just two walks around a park and some walking around stores and parking lots (at this time I can’t remember any thing else that might contribute to the concept that I haven’t spent all my time on the couch).