Monthly Archives: October 2009

Books: year to date

I started keeping tabs on the books I am reading on I put in when I start reading a book (sometimes approximately) and just keep going. I feel that I have not been reading as much as I usually do because I have too much time on my hands (reading happens between A and B, without A and B there is no between).

Even with the slowdown I am starting book #43 since the end of April.

Sometimes I am amazed that I read 50+ books a year. Other times I wonder why it doesn’t turn out to be over 100.

Today is different

Yesterday ended on a craptastic note. I was doing well with the Keep Gina Social project and even enjoying myself. Then I got a call moving an appointment from today to Thursday when I already had two other things scheduled. It is something I should have a choice on but I felt I really didn’t. And I had the same sort of appointment cancelled on my last week. So after a week of long unfilled days used up in 18 hour sleep sessions I was having things squished into one day. It shouldn’t have made me that upset but it did. My entire attitude took a nosedive and I got really cranky. But the time I finished my outing with a friend and got home I had a migraine moving in. I also remembered I hadn’t taken my meds when I was suppose to so that was a factor as well. Because I had flipped my sleep schedule and was trying to turn it right side out again, I had about half an hours sleep in 24 hours so add that in as well. I managed to drug myself up enough to not end up with more than a headache and get to sleep maybe around midnight.

And today? Wow! I woke up at 7:30am to the rain and felt pretty good. I had my shake and checked out the rain. Yup, wet. Love it! I watched some TV. I called a friend (since by then it was a reasonable hour of the day) and left a message about getting together for lunch. I started making plans to hit the DMV for a new driver’s license and the bank to see if I could get a new temp ATM card and a new pic for my debit card. I felt uneasy and uncomfortable laying around watching TV. After the one show, I was done. I actually felt like I wanted to get out of the house. This is practically unheard of in my typical life. I didn’t even have anything scheduled that required me to leave or a push on myself that it would be good for me. I wanted to do it. I started folding sheets from laundry done a couple of weeks ago and putting away clothes. Without forcing myself to do it. It came naturally. This is how I think it should always be. You think of it and then you do it. There wasn’t this huge mountain pressing down on me to fight to make something happen. Amazing.

I got a call back about lunch with a no go and that didn’t dent my day at all. Just meant I had more time to work out the other things on my plate. The appointment that was cancelled got rescheduled to 1:30 due to an opening. I hoped in the shower to get ready. Again, unheard of. I normally have to get myself into the shower. The entire getting ready process is a big reason other things don’t happen. Or it feels like it (sure I could take out the trash but that would require putting clothes on and that is too much so I will just lay here and live with yet another bag of trash). It is so neat to be doing things just because it is a good thing to do them. No fighting myself. No pushing against a boulder stuck in sloppy mud. No fighting with gravity or anxiety. No feeling the need to bury my face into something soft and pretend the world doesn’t exist.

I am sure this won’t last, it will come and go and things progress. But I wanted to note that it is here now. Also to ponder how much of it being here now is related to the fact that it is raining finally? I get the whole dark and dreary thing that other people have with this kind of weather. It is sort of depressing if I let it get to me. But underneath part of me just unfolds and seems to thrive when water falls out of the sky.

I knew that not having a job through the summer, especially Sept was not going to be a good thing. I didn’t think it would as bad as it seems to have turned out.

All in all, I am pleased it is raining. Even if it rains so much that the worms flood out and it gets stinky.

I guess there is a good reason my first Photoshop project was the picture of raining Ginas.

note: anyone that wants to post a comment in the negative about the rain….don’t. Just saying. This is my happy, stay away.

Nothing like adriniline to get you started in the morning

It turns out that when I got home from Silicon on Sunday and unloaded the car, I was so tired I didn’t lock the doors. Today I found out my wallet is gone. I think it fell out of my pack and was in the car. Someone found my Wells Fargo card, B of A sent me an email about odd charges on my debit card, I can’t remember if there was anything hitting my USAA credit card and my Chase card is probably ok since I lost it a couple of weeks ago in my place. I can get a temporary atm card tomorrow probably.

For the most part it is no big deal. At first I was thinking it was kids and I was fine with letting them have the bart tickets and cash just to get the extra “worthless” stuff back. Every place where there were charges was within walking distance from home towards University and 6th street. My fastrak and the nice zippered folder with the car registration and proof of insurance was also taken. I think that was it. Very much a quick hit and grab what looks interesting. My CD case was left behind probably because of the burned CDs they thought it was worth nothing.

I have contacted the banks and credit cards. My next move is insurance to get new proof and fastrak just in case. Sadly, my collection of Driver’s Licenses are now gone as is my library card and misc rewards cards. Also sadly there was probably about $150 in bart tickets and cash in the wallet. Oh well.

Mostly I am fine with it. I really do want my misc junk back that is worthless to the thief. I feel I should be able to find the trash can where it was tossed and I would be much happier. Mentally I am fine. Physically, I find I am still shaking. It was about 2:30pm when I got the first clue and it is now about 6:30pm. I just got home from running around, picking up my one card, stopping by the gas stations where there were charges and the bank to get some folding cash and hopefully a temporary atm card. I don’t feel good and I don’t know what to do to sooth myself. My resources are low and I know that is due to my woeful lack of regular food, exercise and sleep. Fixing that is a longer term goal but does nothing for this moment.

I have a lot of organizing and straightening up to do. As it is before each con, my place becomes more dedicated to the gods of chaos and my life gets strung out. With this added joy of losing my wallet and needing to fix all of that, the job of getting things back in order feels too large. I just want to crumple. But even that doesn’t sound good. I can’t think of what I would want to make me feel better and reenergized and I don’t have anything to drag me through where I am that I can just zone out on and tune back in when things are better. Bah.

I am open to suggestions on what else to watch for or take care of in regards to losing the content of my wallet. I figure I need to keep an eye out for identity theft since my drivers license is out of my control.