I feel like I have been fighting myself a lot lately. I work very hard to do one thing and work just as hard not to move at all. This isn’t the passive fighting I was doing a year ago. This is straining in both directions. The muscles alongside my spine have been aching since last Sat I think because of how hard I have been trying to actually do things. I had a dream today about flinging myself around because that was the only way I could move sometimes. I would even fall asleep in the middle of things I wanted to be doing. It caused all sorts of problems if you can imagine. And oddly my surroundings are a lot like they are right now. I was just less aware and less able to move.
I have taken the first step in the Dr Amen better brain process. I have added supplements to my morning pill pile. Fish Oil is the next step. I do wonder if this first step is related to the fighting. If I am getting to a point where I am trying to push rather than just collapse and let whatever happen.
The last two days I have fallen asleep at 6pm. It doesn’t matter when I get up, if I have had loads of sleep beforehand or was short sleep, I have noticed a tendency to get drowsy at 6pm. The amount of sun seems irrelevant too. It has happened at different times of the year. One thing that is consistent between yesterday and today was drinking Arizona ice tea beforehand. I was very thirsty yesterday and it was part of quenching my thirst. Today I stuffed myself with food and it was the drink of choice. It affecting me like a sleep aid would be a drastic and quick change from how it affected me before.