I am tired and I am cranky. Cranky mostly because I can’t seem to adequately pass information to people and they frustrate me so much because they can’t understand what I need from them. I want to bang their heads against the wall because they are being so dense. I know it has to be a me thing because it has happened with so many people.
I woke up around 1am kicking and flailing. I am trying these new earplugs to try and block out the unidentifiable whine in my apartment to attempt to get some good sleep. The whine cuts through the ear plugs and it is now the only think I can hear but at least the volume is lower so the sounds from inside my own head can cause interference. I woke up in a panic because I felt I couldn’t tell what was around be because I couldn’t hear and I was trapped. I ripped the earplugs out of my ears and kicked all the things around me that were suppose to be comforting and then settled down to try to sleep again.
Unlike past years when I have been one of 5-10 people who are wearing costumes for Halloween, I am the only person wearing one. Thanks to an idea from fresne, it is appropriate. I am wearing one of my grandmother’s old suits and doing Retro Business Wear. I am a secretary from the 40s. I would post pictures but I am having issues with my site and haven’t been able to connect for weeks and haven’t hear from the sysadmin.
The Season is in full swing and we are reaching the end of the October Gauntlet. I have as much scheduled for the next 5 days as I have done probably this entire month. It has become the Hell Season again with all the fun activities we just can’t say no to. We know better but we have done it again. At least this time, we aren’t making many costumes, most of our outfits are coming out of the closet or costume boxes. I know one of the reasons I am doing what I am doing is because I had to miss most of Halloween last year and I feel the need to make up for that. But it is turning what use to be my favorite time of the year, a time to show more of me and do things my way and be acceptable, into a time of year I dread. Next year, we will do things differently. (The we includes fresne and probably capricious_k)
Hopefully from here on out I can go with the flow of everything I have worked to set up. We will see. But this is my state as I go into the Best Weekend of the Year.