I am tired and I am cranky. Cranky mostly because I can’t seem to adequately pass information to people and they frustrate me so much because they can’t understand what I need from them. I want to bang their heads against the wall because they are being so dense. I know it has to be a me thing because it has happened with so many people.

I woke up around 1am kicking and flailing. I am trying these new earplugs to try and block out the unidentifiable whine in my apartment to attempt to get some good sleep. The whine cuts through the ear plugs and it is now the only think I can hear but at least the volume is lower so the sounds from inside my own head can cause interference. I woke up in a panic because I felt I couldn’t tell what was around be because I couldn’t hear and I was trapped. I ripped the earplugs out of my ears and kicked all the things around me that were suppose to be comforting and then settled down to try to sleep again.

Unlike past years when I have been one of 5-10 people who are wearing costumes for Halloween, I am the only person wearing one. Thanks to an idea from fresne, it is appropriate. I am wearing one of my grandmother’s old suits and doing Retro Business Wear. I am a secretary from the 40s. I would post pictures but I am having issues with my site and haven’t been able to connect for weeks and haven’t hear from the sysadmin.

The Season is in full swing and we are reaching the end of the October Gauntlet. I have as much scheduled for the next 5 days as I have done probably this entire month. It has become the Hell Season again with all the fun activities we just can’t say no to. We know better but we have done it again. At least this time, we aren’t making many costumes, most of our outfits are coming out of the closet or costume boxes. I know one of the reasons I am doing what I am doing is because I had to miss most of Halloween last year and I feel the need to make up for that. But it is turning what use to be my favorite time of the year, a time to show more of me and do things my way and be acceptable, into a time of year I dread. Next year, we will do things differently. (The we includes fresne and probably capricious_k)

Hopefully from here on out I can go with the flow of everything I have worked to set up. We will see. But this is my state as I go into the Best Weekend of the Year.

So ailurodragon gives me back what I gave him, it is more likely that dkferret gives me a dead frog eyeball, it is more likely that ren_wench gives me Ginaberry flavored candy rather than blueberry candy, a 3.5ince floppy from rimblemethis actually makes sense but what is on that disk, and mmmmmm apple – tasty. Now it makes more sense for capricious_k to be giving me the white chocolate rather than fresne but then again, she is capricious. Yndy is probably giving me the gummy worms for my eatable cemetery which she has never seen. Corva giving me eatable bats makes a bit of sense and I am sure nanidesuka’s chocolate is sugar-free.

Thanks to yndy, I wasted time I didn’t have on the following. And I loved it.

Could You Pass 8th-Grade Math?
Score: Magna Cum Laude! 9/10 (miss read the surface area question and calculated volume instead. D’oh!)

Practice Math section of the SATs
Score: Excellent 7/7 correct

Looks like I do better with upper level math.

Hate crosswords to exercise my mind, but I love math. Yes, I am a Pervy Math Fancier.

Yup, I am bored at work and catching up a little with LJ.

I got notified that again this year, New Wave City is doing a dance on Halloween. Yay!!!
I hopped over to www.newwavecity.com and found out not only is it New Wave City, but a DJs from Dark Sparkle and Death Guild are going to be there. And Rosin Coven (I like them, they have cellos).

So it is a dancing night. I like DNALounge and they have a webcast so those of you that can’t make it can watch those of us who can. But it isn’t 550 Space where there are three dance floor to wonder if you are bored with a song.

Good thing I have the next day off work. I take it off to go shopping. Other people like the day after Thanksgiving or the day after Xmas. For me, I do my year’s worth of shopping the day after Halloween. But this year, there just isn’t really all that much I want. I have most everything I like already. *le sigh* Life can be so hard.

I got started on birthdays in my schedule update post and it got longer so I decided to split it off here.

As can be seen in my previous post, there are oodles of birthdays in Nov/Dec. I am even missing a few that I know of, I just don’t have the actual dates. The other clump seems to be in March. This is one of the reasons the Pit O’Scorpions party exists, there are just so many of us. I am sad about missing the Pit this year. I haven’t missed the last 9 (I think) and this year I was looking forward to inviting people to a birthday party for me. But I am not the host and the host needed to put it on a different night. I guess this is a reminder that it isn’t a party for me and that if I want one, I have to put it together. Too bad my place is way small and I totally freak at doing parties by myself. Guess it isn’t such a bad thing that my place is too small after all.

I will probably skip over my birthday this year. I am very busy and not enthusiastic about it. Last year I missed out on a lot of halloween stuff so I had lots of energy for my birthday. At work I did this big tea party where I made lots of food and dressed up. For the weekend of my birthday, I joined Crystal and Karen for a spa weekend that was new and interesting. The year before, I had a great time before my birthday and hated it right afterwards. Before, I joined Crystal, Karen and Melinda for a Crystal’s birthday dinner, the Pit was a lot of fun, the day of my birthday, I got to spend time with both of they guys I was dating at the time – the day with one, the evening with the other. After my birthday, things just started going wrong and it was so good before, it really hurt when it didn’t work out right after. A lot of the effort put into last year’s birthday was because of the sour taste left in my mouth from the previous year’s.

This year it isn’t such a big deal to do little for my birthday, it is only 39. It is odd to have my life going pretty well and be so down about it. Next year will be harder though. 40 is a big deal. If things are planned, it is hard not to have expectations and get hurt. If things aren’t planned, then you are missing the opportunity to have it be special. Not having 39 be special, not a big deal, not having 40 be special, real bummer. Although my hardest birthday will be 42. I am hoping to do something really special for that one. Probably will go sky diving to mark the occasion, ala Heather Alexander and Tim McGraw. Or at least that is the thought at this time.

I found out recently that my mom’s due date for me passed and labor had to be induced. I like to hold onto the idea that I was suppose to be born on Halloween. That would be a good birthday for me. Although it would add stress to an already stressful time. But maybe this year I will adopt Halloween as my actual birthday and enjoy the day with friends and the night at DNA lounge.

Things have moved around on the schedule and I have found out others are finding my schedule useful since they are doing some of the same things (ok one or two people have mentioned it, that counts as plural, right?).

Two weekends in Nov have opened up. The 6th and the 20th. Wow. I have put in bold the weekend dates that are free between now and Jan 1. I have some vacation days I need to take so I will probably end up with free time during the week instead. Italics are for things that are noted but not an actual event, like birthdays. Everything else is stuff I am probably doing.

Oct 22 – Skull queen – Dance Macabre (Friday Night Waltz)
Oct 23 – Kimono – Witches Ball, Silk Road
Oct 29 – Bambi – Skylab Party
Oct 30 – Valkyries – Gaskell’s
Oct 31 – Some kind of Goth outfit – Goth Picnic in the Cemetery
Oct 31 *NEW Item* – New Wave City for Halloween!!!
Nov 1 – Day off to go Halloween clearance shopping and recover from Halloween
Nov 2 – Voting!!! and Mom might be in town.
Nov 3 – Joe Price’s birthday
Nov 6 – Bal Des Vampyre – Probably skipping so currently unscheduled Wow!
Nov 7 – Crystal’s birthday
Nov 7 – 7th seas RPG
Nov 7 – ridhwan services (not that time consuming)
Nov 8 – Cybele’s and Kevin O’Hare’s birthdays
Nov 10 – my birthday which I might ignore, Loree’s birthday
Nov 12-14 – 9sisters retreat
Nov 19 – Ragani’s birthday and Friday Night Waltz East (maybe)
Nov 20 – Was suppose to be the GBACG Pirate’s Feast but that looks hosed. It will probably be the Pit of Scorpions annual party (we have so many Scorpios, we have a party to see if we can survive each other. If we do, then we will take over the world) Pit of Scorpions got moved to Nov 13 and I am not in town so this day is now Free!!!
Nov 21 – Krystal’s birthday
Nov 25 – Thanksgiving, who knows what this will hold
Nov 26 – Keith Kissel’s birthday
Nov 26-29 Loscon and garment district run
Dec 1 – Sandpanther’s birthday
Dec 2 – Finder’s birthday
Dec 4 – Wow, an open spot, run around screaming Surprise Funeral for a friend
Dec 5 – ridhwan services (not that time consuming)
Dec 8 – Erik A’s birthday
Dec 8 – BGI company holiday party
Dec 10 – Labyrinth night at Grace Catheral
Dec 11-12 – An open weekend, shall a pool get started to see how long it stays that way? Dickens should be in there somewhere.
Dec 18 – Xmas Gaskells
Dec 22 – black_reaver’s birthday
Dec 25 – Xmas, which is actually quite empty for me. I hide in bed until the damn day is over the the world starts up again.
Dec 26 Day after Xmas sales anyone?
Dec 31 – New Years eve. Probably the Friday Night Waltz Ball
Jan 1 – No plans other than recovery
Jan 2 – Ridhwan services (not that time consuming)
Jan 8 – 12th night
Jan 9 – No plans as yet
Jan 14th – Grace Cathedral Labyrinth walk
End of current schedule

There is a reason I both love and dread this time of year. My schedule is normally this busy, just not this pack this far out. And this is after I froze it a week or two ago because I was too busy. The few open days feel like missing teeth. I keep thinking of things to put in there.

Yeah, I have been a little light on posting. I have been spending dealing with life and person to person communications instead of posting about life and broadcast communications.

I think the skirt I wore to work is a little too short. It is a nice business grey pinstrip, but when paired with short white socks and mary janes, it does show a lot of leg. I think I am going to get some black pantyhose or tights at lunch and see if I can tone it down a little.

And a meme

This meme from lintqueen

The Name Site
Name Origin: Italian
Number of Syllables: 2.00
Gender: Female

More interesting facts about the name Gina:

Lucky Number: 4
Ruling Planet: Uranus
Element: Air
Primary Color: Green
Traits: Inclined to appear strange and eccentric because s/he is usually ahead of her/his time. Very interested in the occult; in psychic research. Inclined to do anything out of the ordinary. Strong intuitive tendencies. Can be bitingly sarcastic if crossed. Believes in liberty and equality. Can usually predict the probable outcome of actions and businesses.

Don’t know about the lucky number, my fav has been 42.
I have a costume for Sailor Uranus so that is cool.
My least element is Air, right now I am drawn to Earth (I have many costumes related to this) and Water.
Because of the whole Earth thing, I am very drawn to Green, although my favorite color is either Black or Blue.
I have the appear strange and eccentric and part of that could be because I am ahead of my times. I do find I am slightly ahead of trends. It annoys me when they become trends because it means there will be an end to them and I will look stupid wearing what I always wanted to wear anyway.
Wasn’t interested in the occult, becoming more interested in the occult lately.
Will do things out of the ordinary because ordinary can be so boring.
Relatively strong intuitive tendencies in some areas, blind as a bat in other areas.
My snarky comments have cleaned up a lot of things at work, but I have to be very very careful.
I believe very much in liberty and equality and personal responsibility those require.
Pretty clueless when it comes to business, I don’t want to have to pay attention enough to have a clue.

And another meme:
Name a CDAlbum you own that (you think) no-one else on your friends list does:
Either Skidoo by Harry Nilson (it is packaged with The Point) (CD) or I am Siam (vinyl) which I will be very impressed if anyone has even heard of them.

Name a book you own that no-one else on your friends list does:
Currently: Discovering Your Personality Type by Risso and Hudson.

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that no-one else on your friends list does:
Commercially available: Maybe Gargoyles the animated movie. One that no-one has on my FL: C/FOoD meeting footage, and probably I am the only source of Cornpone Flicks’ Comfortably Numb music video done with Akira footage.

Name a place that you have visited that no-one else on your friends list has:
Lived in Mons, Belgium. Wish I could say Asterix Land but it wasn’t complete when I was over there yet. But I did see it from the highway.

A off-hand comment from a friend yesterday got me thinking about something.

I can’t pretend, I can only be me. I become what I am trying to portray.
I might be able to fake something for a while but soon, I either can’t do it anymore or it becomes a part of me. The integrity of who I am is very permeable.

It is very important for me to be in an environment that allows me to be me. I have many different and sometimes conflicting aspects so there are a lot of places/situations where I can be me, if only a portion of me. That also means I have a lot of environments to maintain so I can get around to being all parts of me.

I think this is the reason I was so worried about the move at work. And why it concerns me that I seem to be adapting.

While watching TV this week, I noticed things that are familiar in my group of friends that we have considered “different” and it looks like they are becoming “mainstream.” You know something is becoming mainstream when it shows up in a prime time TV program.

This week’s sightings:
Utilikilt in One Tree Hill on a character that represents a high lust factor. I thought he looked yummy.
Scenes at a Ren Faire on Gilmore Girls. I think it was very nicely done.