Well I have more energy than I did earlier. I found out that due to some typical computer trouble, I saved something for Baycon in the wrong format. I can no longer edit it and most of the work I did on Monday evening is down the drain. Suddenly I have a lot of energy. I am so aggravated at myself for this.
On the plus side, it will be easier to do the second time around and it makes someone else’s job a little easier. I can spend some time on graphics instead of text. I have more energy and am mostly doing good. I even have motivation and have finished some work-related things.
It is rather funny to watch how thin the surface of this doing good is. The littlest thing will really make me angry all over again. Luckily work is really slow right now. I would have already gone home but I tried out something for my graphics and it worked so much easier than I expected. Something I thought would take an hour or two could be done in minutes. I have some serious kudos to give to my former co-worker. He is the one that figured it out and set it up for me. I haven’t played with it until now. Color me impressed.
So, I am doing better on the surface but not that stable. Usually when it is other people’s problems, I am very stable and help them get through it. Still tired. Still have moments when all I want to do is sink to the floor and stay there. Still have issues with breathing now and again.
I am seeing more about the breathing. I think it is that I stopped breathing as I am doing something (walking or working on something), stop being distracted and notice that I need air badly, take some deep breaths (because I know it is panic/stress related), and still feel like I haven’t gotten any air. Even though my body is doing fine (I think because I haven’t fallen over) the feeling of “Need” for air is still there. Probably leftover chemicals running through my body. Gotta love this physiology stuff. Weeee
(I don’t feel moody or like things change quickly. (Ups and downs over a few hours isn’t moody, is it? I hear rumor that there are people that have the same mood for Days at a time, maybe longer. They must be hanging out with Big Foot.)
I either learn to deal with it, or I curl up at home on the couch with my stash of peeps and tune everything out. This doesn’t feel better in the long run but for the moment, it feels just right. So, do I eat the box of blue peeps, one of the yellow ones, some of the purple ones, I think the green ones are all gone now…