I feel wiped today.
Last night, my activities ended around 8:30pm and I was headed to a nice quiet night at home with my tv. Instead I went grocery shopping. I got a number of things I wouldn’t normally get but if they made it easier for me to eat when I should, they are worth it. It wasn’t stressful but it did take until 10pm before I got home. It was taking care of myself but again, I didn’t have any at home time.

I watched an hour of tv, ate things I shouldn’t (popcorn and sugar) and curled into the couch to fall asleep. I find I can get dozy on the couch but dread going to bed. After an hour, I was out of it enough that I could relocate to the bed without a problem and go right to sleep.

This morning I tried a new routine to help get me started so I can get to work on time. It was successful until 8am when I fell back asleep for half an hour and was running late again. Hopefully it will work better tomorrow.

I took care of myself, I got enough sleep and still I feel like I am dragging myself everywhere and can’t keep focused on work. Whaaaaa. This is how I am suppose to feel when I am pushing myself, not when I am paying attention to my well being. I miss being hyper. I think I was able to ignore the dragging feeling and pretend it didn’t exist. I am paying for it now. When that side shows up and I acknowledge its existence, it drags me way down.