Dream time again. This one about a big fight due to a politics difference of opinion with my dad and how he doesn’t feel safe anymore. I think I know where different pieces come from and I wrote them out too.
I just woke up from a dream where my house is falling apart, my brother is involved with a girl that killed a friend of theirs, I am refusing to talk to most of my father and most of my family (with the exception of my niece and some cousin that doesn’t really exist) because of my dad badmouthing Obama and somehow I am involved romantically with Nathan Filian/Rick Castle who is a cop/detective, not a mystery writer. All this is happening while aliens are invading.
I woke up from the dream and while going over it to remember all the pieces and what it is about, I find myself running a conversation with my dad in my head and I am ranting about all the areas I have problems with him and his political points of view (we have never been political in our family so this is a new state for both me and my father) and telling him how much it is bother me (the dream) and how I don’t feel safe leaving myself open to him anymore. In my dream it was 4:22am and I was thinking about calling him and talking to him before my therapy appt at 11am. Then I checked the time and it was only just after midnight. I had crawled into bed at 8pm and it had only been 4 hours. My dad usually stays up this late so I thought to go ahead and try him now. Two tries and the message says his phone is busy. I believe he has call waiting so I don’t know what the phone is doing. It does this every now and again.
I figure I am being told that now is not the time to call and so I am writing this out instead.
My issues with my dad I am pretty sure are stemming from concern about his being drawn in by the Tea Party and a new development where he is no longer saying that Obama has potential to get things right and he doesn’t think Obama will be able to pull it off to telling me Obama jokes and backhand slamming Obama for the Oil Spill that I can’t see has any basis. I feel he has drunk the Koolaid and since Obama is my president and I have drunk his Koolaid (No I don’t think he is all wonderful but I do feel he is a politician that has gotten closest to really representing what I consider important and want in this country, ok watered down Koolaid). He should know I am an Obama supporter/believer and I feel he is ignoring this because of the way he is Obama is bad stuff, either that or he doesn’t realize he has drunk the Koolaid which makes it even more dangerous.
Some of the fight is because because of a disagreement with someone on a friend’s facebook page with a man who states he is a traditional christian in his profile going off about how mainstream Islam is becoming all about killing the infidel and two of us trying to point out that the same sort of arguments can be made about christianity and he should take it down a notch or two since all he is doing is throwing around more inappropriate anti-Islam propaganda and making matters worse for everyone.
I think the house falling apart is because of my worries about finances and my ability to actually work with my issues and panic attacks. There is corn syrup dripping out of pipes coming out of the walls. The attitude about that in the household is that we should do something about it and we might even find someone to give us money for it but it sure does taste good when we lick it off our faces. We never do get around to doing anything about it, just let it drip on us.
Part of the household is a former co-worker of mine from my last job. She lives downstairs but is with me because of all the stuff going on. I have no idea why she is part of this dream. Having a housemate and other people around I think ties into my needing other people right now to be able to do anything productive.
Nathan Filian is an interesting development. I don’t normally dream of stars/characters from shows like this and he isn’t who I would put anywhere near the top of my list of who I want in a sex dream. I love him as an actor and adore his characters but I don’t think I have ever pictured him as a romantic partner. The dream pairing was along the lines of unacknowledged strong interest that gets carried away but frustrated in the end. I think maybe this is because I am in the planning stage of meeting a guy that looks very interesting from okcupid and hoping I get to meet another one that I am emailing with. I don’t see anything serious being able to happen with the first one, he is too much on the go and into adventures to be able to deal with my issues and restrictions but it would be fun to go on a few of his adventures and get some of that back into my life. I just couldn’t keep up full time.
The issue with my brother is weird and tied into Nathan Filian being a cop, the fight with my dad and being invaded by attacking aliens (as in from outer space not the political strawman of those from Mexico).
Now I am awake after four hours of sleep and my schedule is flipped again. Weeeee.