Don’t know why but I didn’t post this when I wrote it. It is many hours later.

Just finished with a business call going over the work I have done. It feels nice. It is hard to remember how much I actually like being productive and making things people want. This is my Maker part of me resides. I don’t Make things for the sake of making things. I only Make things that are wanted, either I want them or I am doing it for someone else. A lot of times I Make things for a class or something and then later it is important to me because it reminds me that I have that ability.

Before the business call (I still haven’t eaten lunch yet and it is sitting next to me) I had an appointment with my shrink. The last few weeks have been very hard. So hard in fact that one of my therapists sent me to the emergency room after session to get my meds adjusted. That did nothing so I sicced her on my shrink to talk about how to make things work for me. He did what she said but he is still a waste of space as far as I am concerned. He went from letting me dictate everything to instructing me how to do things like he is reading off a list. If A then B else C. I do not fit standard molds. Or actually, I do fit standard molds in some places, in others I only look like I fit but I really don’t and in others I don’t even come close to fitting. It is important to work with me and think outside the box. The outside the box thinking has been something I have had to do since I was a kid so it being a business cliche now is sort of funny. He retires in Nov which made it much easier to talk to him this time.

We have upped my meds and I have to take them twice a day. Once a day I have managed to make work, the second time is much more hit and miss due to my days having no real structure to attached the second dose to.

Also, I am suppose to have more social contact. My response to that was “well duh.” I have been trying to make that happen for over a year now. Since most of my friends are busy people, or unavailable or far away, I have not been very successful. I am tired of and I think others are tired of me continuing to play the “I am in need, please help me” card over and over.