I am retaking the Kaiser Managing Depression class in hopes that it will do some good.

The booklet thingy has instructions for Friends and Family on How to Help a Person with Depression.

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Provide emotional support:
Be understanding, patient,affectionate, and encouraging.
Engage the person in conversation and listen carefully.
Remarks about death or suicide should always be taken seriously and reported to the doctor.

Encourage activity and interaction:
Invite your friend or loved one for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Choose activities that he or she once enjoyed and be gently insistent.

At the same time, do not push him/her to do too much too soon. Your friend or relative wit depression needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.

Take care of yourself, too:
Find balance. Five time to your friend or loved one, but remember that you need time for your other duties and relationships as well.

Remember, you can give the best support when you are feeling strong and supported yourself.
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I have tried to reach out and set up social interactions with friends but it seems like I need more than what can be provided. I also lack practice in being the one invited instead of doing the setting up of activities. I am not always the most graceful or cooperative when others invite me. I am trying to learn to be better at that.

Part of collecting to busy, somewhat unavailable people is that I end up setting up stuff that I really want to do and pulling others in. I also get to dictate how many people I deal with and how often. If I need time off, I just stop reaching out. This has worked in the past but does not work with the way I am restructuring my life now. I want to learn other ways of doing things.

I am aware that I currently don’t seem able to attend group gatherings where there are people I know and would like to see but I am not going with anyone. Especially if they are far away. If I am specifically needed for something, that seems to help. I will think I will go and I really want to go but when the time comes, I don’t move. I will be completely ready, dressed, have everything I wanted to take and then will sit down and find I don’t move towards the door. I acknowledge that it is a choice I am making even if it feels out of my control. Instead of beating myself up over it, I allow it to be something I am not able to do at this time for some unknown reason and just accept it. There is something in there that is making the choice not to go, I just don’t know what it is.

Getting together one-on-one or in small groups with friends doesn’t seem to trigger the same response. It is the general gathering of people where my not showing up doesn’t change anything.