I think I need to stay away from the Browncoats. I greatly admire them. I am tickled that a fan group has the sticking power the Browncoats do and that it is such a positive group. I think they are slightly different than other fan groups and those differences are fabulous.

I have wanted to participate and have not made it happen for a couple of years. Different events, different reasons, etc. It being important to me also, oddly, got in the way a number of times.

Tonight I finally made it to a Can’t Stop the Serenity screening. It was really great to be surrounded by people that are ready to be friends with anyone who speaks with them. I enjoyed talking with some of them and my hyper side came out for a visit. This happens at cons and such but the Browncoat fans are even a little more open. That is something I have missed since cons have gotten so big and Geek has become more popular. When the groups got bigger it stopped being safe to assume that everyone in it is my type of people. Browncoats seem to being some of that back.

BUT….and you knew that was a but in there, otherwise why would I be posting that I need to stay away from them.

Every time I open myself up to join in, I get a smackdown from the Universe. The resulting pain has nothing to do with the Browncoats themselves. But something in my life goes sideways right at the time when I am meeting these interesting great people and I wouldn’t have gotten hit if I didn’t go to the event. It has happened enough times to seem like a pattern so I feel the need to stop trying, to stop stepping in front of that train. It isn’t a cause-effect relationship but even a concurrent relationship is a relationship and a good sign to watch out for. These hits were part of the reason it got harder and harder to try and join in over the years. The hit tonight was enough to cross me over the line into letting go.

I still admire the Browncoats and think they are a fabulous force. I will just have to deal with the little bit of pain and resentment from watching from the outside (I already have this with Reni Faire and Dickens Faire so it is just one more to add to the list). I will miss the small joys I have experience in trying to participate but it is stupid to continue to open myself to get whomped.

I am not happy about this right now. I am sure I will become resigned to it like I have the others.