Question: What do I need to focus on to deal with the big things (i.e. not being able to do dishes, laundry, filling out timesheets, get wireless set up, and ultimately go to work in the long run)?
Current situation: The Magician
Action to take: 9 of cups
Expected result: The World

Reading:
I am having a hard time creating the life I want. I am not in alignment with myself or I don’t trust my power. I don’t know what I want or am unwilling or afraid to do what I need to in order to get it.
I need to stop searching for happiness outside of myself, stop focusing on externals, stop confusing channels with source. I am the source.
I will learn a lesson that has been eluding me for some time and I will finally be ready to move on.

This reading fit my question really well. I can see where I am too afraid and unwilling to do what I need to in order to have what I know I want and how I am not sure what else I want. I know that I am the source and I have been looking to externals to lead me to what it is in me I need to find. I would love for this phase to be over and move onto the next phase. I do feel that I am missing the piece that will help me not be afraid or unwilling to do what I need to. There is a strong feeling of having my hands in close to my chest and pushing outward when it comes to doing these “hard” things. Like a little kid pushing something she really doesn’t want away from her. I am not a kid any more. I want to figure out how to resolve this issue and grow up rather than suppress it and have it undermine me some more.

So my next question is why am I so unwilling and afraid and how do I get past it.