I didn’t do this for my birthday but it is well timed. It came to me in a dream….
I was in that inbetween space between sleep and awake and had thoughts of where I want to go, what I want in my life. It was really hard to hold onto them and get them written down but I did manage to get the gist of them. Looking at them a day later, I am pretty amazed at how dead on these are. There is a part of me that thinks they are all hokey and a waste of time. It is the one worried about posting these and how stupid I will feel and how empty these things will seem later. I try not to pay too much attention to that part and just keep moving forward.

During my waking hours, I want to feel the ease of life and the contment that I feel when I have just woken up from a deep sleep. I want to be in tune with life instead of fighting it.
I want to feel peace and serenity with who I am and where I am and what I have before me. I want to see the beauty of everyday things instead of feeling the need to nitpick the edges.
I want to see the glow of each person’s character rather than the dull form of their external shape.
I want to be a part of the process of living instead of resenting the fact that I exist
I want to experience life instead of withstanding it and feeling beaten up by it.
I want to feel graceful and light rather than heavy and plodding, to float rather than fight my way through waist high mud or against the current.
I want to slide through rather than hacking a way through
I want to feel rather than hurt or lack of hurt
I want to relax rather than colapse
I want to change, or reorganize me instead of feeling the need to make the world change to suit me.
I want to feel like I don’t have to be in charge to have things work for me.
I want to find a path that works for me and that I can keep to.
I want to be settled rather than lost
I want to explore and delight in the new rather than feel the need to be afraid and hide.
I want to expand rather than contract.
I want to feel the joy of the moment when there is nothing happening.
I want to be able to enjoy the quiet.
I want to folow and be taken care of and to rise and take care of others when it is appropriate.
I want experience glow rather than glare.

I want to find a tradition, path,practice,way, path thatkeeps me orented and grounded in what I want, need, looking for, going forward.
I am tired of flailing this way and that searching for anything to add to the pile. I want a measure of how well I am doing to cling to for when I am not feeling like I am doing well.
I want a space where I can take a break without loosing ground.