I had plans for the day. I was looking forward to them. They are far away. I finally am up and I really don’t want to go. I know that once I am there, I will be fine but getting there is not something I feel up to facing. No one is counting on me to be there. My presence would be appreciated but isn’t required.

I did not want to get up yesterday either but C came over. After getting moving and doing some stuff, I was so grateful for her gift of a monthly washing dishes day for the clean dishes and for provoking me to move. I know it is good for me and I feel better but getting over that hump between not moving and moving seems nie impossible.

I have lots to do, even sitting at home on the computer and little to no motivation to do it. Some of it is important enough that I am even avoiding doing it. Which intellectually I know is harder on me that just doing it. I wish I could just stop living this way.