I had fun this weekend and got a lot done.

I keep going over what I finished Sat because it seems like the day just got away with me and vast chunks of time disappeared. I got buttons and mostly finished my new white poet shirt so I can actually wear it to work. I fixed a pair of pants. I got some shopping done at Big/Lots! I did 9 loads of laundry. Had a nice large meal. I finished and wrapped a couple of presents. I got Dressed up for a party. All before I left for the South bay. I stopped by my sweetie’s old apartment and ended up helping them move for an hour.

A note on moving:
I hate to move but I seem to enjoy at least part of the process. I seem to be good at it and end up feeling very accomplished. I asked and was told that the one hour of me helping made a much larger difference than the help of adding one extra body to the process of schlepping boxes. I am not very good at schlepping boxes because I wear out quickly. Low energy reserves, you see. But I do think and organize well.

There was a lot more detail here but it feels like I am just boasting so I cut it. I think I was a significant help this weekend and that feels good. I know I was a significant help with mertuil‘s move years ago and that felt good. While I don’t schlep all that well, I do provide energy, organization and direction. I was actually sad to leave but I had a party I was already running late for.

mertuil and internet_addict‘s birthday party was Sat night. I got lots of wonderful comments about my outfit and got a lot of flirting in. I actually had a lot of energy, danced and generally behaved like I didn’t worry what anyone thought of me. That is a hard process to turn off in my head. I am always watching how others react to me and over-analyze it. It was a good thing the party had an actual ending. I was really tired and didn’t realize it until after I stopped moving and had to deal with things. I can tell I am worn out by how quickly I go from happy to cranky.

Sunday was more moving. I actually enjoyed spending time with my sweetie, his girlfriend and their roommate working towards a goal. I am glad I was useful and I have a feeling of accomplishment. The swim afterwards was nice and refreshing.

I also learned something about myself. Ah the path of self discovery. Bleck

Overall, I did really really well this weekend. I put out a lot of energy in both fun and work. I dealt with pain in the butt things, some in a good way, some in a cranky way but they were dealt with positively in the end. And all of this in pretty warm weather which I seemed to been able to at least deal with. I did better than I would have predicted. A real positive note in my book.

The funny thing is that today sucks. My energy is low and my attitude is bad. I know I enjoyed my weekend and got a lot done, but I feel like it was a lousy time and not worth it. This doesn’t make sense so I thought about it a bit.

I think I managed to pull all of my personal/physical resources together for the weekend and now I am tapped out. Nothing is left for dealing with the day to day stuff. I don’t notice that the resources are low until I actually need them. Something I think confirms this is after I had a snapple with lunch, like I have many times in the past, I had a big caffeine reaction. I was typing really quickly, my hands kept shaking, I was nervous for no reason, I couldn’t do any fine motor coordination. Normally there is little enough caffeine in Snapple that I don’t get a reaction. Today was different. I don’t know how long it will be before I build my reserves back up but I have to really behave until then.

I am sure my memory of the weekend will improve as my attitude improves. I am making a point of not making any lasting decisions based on anything I think today. This whole blood sugar thing sucks but it is nice to know that I can live a normal life for a short time even if I have to pay for it later. I had forgotten that was a possibility.