I can juggle my time and sleep when I am doing nothing. But when I am working, man, does it get hard to actually get up and moving. I am so much more tired. And I am eating and drinking more. I take care of myself more and things are harder.

I know that I am putting out energy more than taking care of myself is supplying it and that is why there is an overall negative effect. But it feels like it is the taking care of myself that is running my ragged.

I may be ragged but I am much more functional and on top of things. I like my life like this more.

I am eating like a mad woman today. I had my shake this morning as I was scurrying around to get ready. There were bagels and fruit at the office. I had the shake at 8:30am. It is now 11 and I have eaten two bagels with cream cheese, four mouthfuls of melon and two little bitty slices of coffee cake and have drunk over 8oz of water. There has been a sense of desperation to the craving, like I must get this food into me as fast as I can. I am guessing it is coming from rebuilding resources.

Yesterday I had my shake, I was starving at 10 and eventually had half a food bar. I had a big sandwich at lunch thanks to a friend and gobbled up my two piece chicken and biscuit dinner with two apple pies. The craving for the pies was strong (Church’s). Before going to bed, I had a chocolate cream cheese cupcake/muffin.

I am not hungry but am feeling a desperate need to get food into me. It is a very different feeling.