Supposedly 7s have a hard time with commitment. I know my flake factor wasn’t so bad before I moved to CA but it is a genuine part of me now. I remember when I wouldn’t decide if I was going to a convention until the month or maybe the week before and I would work if you didn’t count on me and I showed up.

When I started with the 9 sisters group, it was an 18 month commitment. I had never went into anything with that kind of length requirement. At the time I was looking at a 10 year commitment for Diamond Heart and was amazed I would even consider it.

I am seeing places where I do commit and it is stunning to me how hard it is to let go when that is a position I am forced to take. When I commit, it is anchored to something buried deeply inside myself. I will put up with an amazing amount of crap and still hold strong.

I have been asked the question “do you keep your promises,” and need to answer that I don’t always. I am having a great deal of trouble with my motivation and following through on things. I can’t tell if I will actually do it or not, I can only plan on trying.

With true commitment, I don’t think I make any promises. I just am. True commitment is an agreement between my head, my heart and my gut. I don’t always get notified until something affects that commitment. Then I find out how strong it is.

I didn’t realize how much I had committed to 9 sisters. More than was asked for and more than there was. I was still committed to continuing after it was all over. This didn’t match up with the reality around me so there were problems with this.

I am committed to the work on myself. I can’t believe what I do for that and what I am willing to endure. Sometimes I sit and watch in amazement at what I am doing.

I was committed to a friendship that I am informed is over. It still doesn’t make sense because his actions and his words don’t seem to match up to me.

I am committed to another friendship that is currently on the rocks. I figure I will back off and wait as it comes around again, if it comes around again. His issues might revolve around his marriage and he doesn’t know it and I don’t want that to ever change for him.

I was committed to my captain even though as a friend, he pissed me off more than not. As my captain, he had my support.

With me, there are some things that just are. Usually they need to be questioned before I notice that they have that status. Some people will always be welcome in my life. I may not be able to deal with them at a particular time, but after I have had time to get through it, there is a spot for them. Just is.

I was not committed to my job. I wish, oh how I wish I was, but I wasn’t.