baycon report. I am working my way home from con currently sitting at the Great Mall of America after eating Arby’s writing this up.

It was a pretty good convention this year. Lots of “growth opportunities” which were not plesant but have lead to greater understanding of how my head really works. I feel like I have a ringside seat watching a natural disaster unfold. I figure what is going on is churning up the ground soil and seeds I have gathered over the last decade will be able to grow. It is not a comfortable place to be in but I have faith it is a good thing.

I actually attended two panels. WOW! First time in years. One of the nature of the term friends due to its use by social media and the other was an intro to Wonderflex. I took notes on the first one and I feel very comfortable that I can use wonderflex if I ever get an idea and the motivation to make something using it.

I got to see many people I know and I am pretty sure I missed many people as well. I faded at night so I didn’t get to connect much on the party floor and the dance didn’t tempt me much. I found a way to enjoy karaoke (treat it like a sing along) but those songs are now deeply embeded in my head and I am not sure it is worth it.

I got to meet some new people and re-make the aquaintance of some people I knew years ago. On the surface, the con was the same as it ever was. The staff did a good job of not having the seems show where things were pasted together at the last moment.

A highlight was attending a limited time anniversary party for two wonderful couples. Next year, it looks like it is going to be three couples. I also heard the story how another couple that I know got engaged this weekend. Baycon is a big milestone in many people’s lives. I love the story that it took an Excel spreadsheet and a Powerpoint presentation to convince one member of a couple to agree to marry the other. With the exception of a couple people there that I don’t really know, the room was filled with some of my favorite people.

I spent a lot of time feeling very insecure and like people put up with me but don’t actively want me around. (ok, pause here so you can get over the giggle fit) I would then remind myself of the number of times I hear “Hey Gina” as I pass by crowds and a friend made the statement along the lines of Instant hallway clog, just add Gina. I also have to remember how I had meant to go swimming and kept getting stopped and invited to join different groups of people. I would leave one group and barely make it any distance and would be stopped again. Then there was the first fire alarm.

I managed to do what I like to do which is direct traffic. I helped out (or at least I think I helped and hope I really helped and wasn’t just a pain or a waste) inform people where to be to be out of the way and directed flow when we could go back in. During the second fire alarm, I was over at the dance and was told to stay there. I thought they were joking with us and it was just a gag to get people to stay at the dance. I found out later it was really another alarm.

I finally got up to the room to change clothes and was eating when my roomies came in. AFter the THIRD alarm, they decided to pack up the room party they were having and call it quits. I never did make it out of the room again. I found by the time I was done eating, I was tired and couldn’t get motivated to change outfits. I think I started to head to the room around 6pm. The decision to abort was around midnight or two. It took me that long and that many stops to get to the room. My head reminds myself of this when I am feeling unloved. (not that I can’t totally distroy this positive rememberance but I try not to.)

On Monday, friends from WA were having dim sum brought in. I was sitting in the lobby talking to another of them and we were invited to join them. Since I rarely ate during con (I don’t remember how many times I really ate but I can only remember three times besides my breakfast shakes) I figured it would be a good idea. Turns out it was for Misty, Lee and Larry. Um… I don’t normally see the guests of honor at a convention and when they are big names whos work I like, I rarely can manage to put together coherent speech around them. Misty is delightful. I had seen her the night before when I was holding up a wall and she was talking to Tadao and she struck me as very “normal” (as in one of us and interesting to know). She didn’t even seem as distant as other con goers I haven’t met yet. I still need to work out what it is about her that gave me this feeling. I am thinking it is along the lines of what draws me to the people running the convention or event I attend. I tend to befriend the heads of these sorts of things long before I know that is who they are.

I like Larry and Misty and Lee is an absolute delight. I know these are real people but I usually have a hard time getting past my starstuck viewpoint to see that. It was nice to see it with these three. I managed to pass along some positive comments to Lee. He provided lots of artwork for con publications that didn’t get used. He had heard how hard it is for the program book and such to get art so he made a special point to take care of it. I am very sad that it wasn’t taken advantage of. I would love to work with him on publications.

Sunday night, I got drunk, sort of. I took a snif (yes, with the nose, nothing but air) of a strong scotch and it stipped my eyeballs and cleared out every open area inside my skull. I found it to be harsh. A little later I ended up holding up the wall and tilting to one side. Energy just evaporated and left me motionless. Tadao guided me to the fanzine lounge and sat me in a chair to the side. I was content to drink the water put in my hands and listen to Leigh Anne hold court. After awhile, Kevin came in and looked into my eyes and told me that I looked messed up. There was some sort of dark under my eyes that didn’t look right. That was when I finally allowed Tadao to convince me that I was done for the night and help me back to my room. Once there I was able to drop the social subroutine and focus on myself and was ok. In the morning I realized I only had cake at the limited party and never got around to finding dinner. The cake was good cake (goldielocks) and I didn’t crash from it, so that was good.

I forgot about Friday. I wanted to leave at noon but as is my wont, I had a hard time getting started towards con. I arrived at 7:20 and had planned to be available to make zombies from 5-7. It took a little while for zombies to really show up and that got people interesed in joining them so I was able get to make zombies. I ended up having all the make up I needed from my theatrical kit. I don’t know how many zombies I made but I have pictures and will count. I remember two zombie bites, two rookie zombies and one with a slice to the head and the blood drained out. I didn’t use any of the blood Jade bought me. That was good and fun. I was delighted to be able to participate without needing to become a zombie myself.

There are things I wished had happened at con and some things I wished didn’t happen but over all it was a good con. Mostly good for growth. I did not buy my ticket for next year yet. I figure I shouldn’t have the funds for it now and by the time I do have the funds, I can afford the pricier ticket. Also I spent over half the con wondering why I even bother going to con. I will see if it is time to take a break or not. I sure hope I am in a different place by this time next year.

PS I love my itty bitty mobile text machine. And the keyboard actually fits my hands just right.