I feel like I am teetering on the edge of being defeated. I had an ambitious idea around getting a group of friends together for an event and it was shot down from every direction. It was so clearly shot down that it looks like the Universe is saying NO, you can’t have that right now. I got the message.
I can see what I am being told no to but I feel I can see what I am being told yes to. I don’t know what direction is the one where the flow is.
When things go well, I am loaded with energy. When things are blocked, I feel like I leak air and go flat. I am feeling pretty flat. I am also aware that by putting more energy into a leaking situation, it goes flat faster. And when flat, it is harder to see where to go to catch the flow.
Don’t worry, this all makes sense in Gina Logic.
I am working on internal structures so that I don’t need outside people for motivation and movement. But I am not there yet. I still need external contact. But it has to be the right contact. If I show up somewhere I don’t feel like I fit, then it ends up costing me more than I would have gotten out of it.
I am feeling confused and frustrated and like the things I have learned so far are not applicable here.
It doesn’t help much that I was called for 1-2 hours of off site work yesterday and poked to find out today that the job was put on pause and I wasn’t told. I have a feeling this is something that happens a lot. But the client was impressed by me. There seems to be a lot of the impressed but no work thing going on. Yay, impressed.
I am so very sorry I could not help you with your plan..I wish it was possible..as it stands right now as you know my life is upside down too.
My dear try and hang on!
No worries. You were my last ditch effort and I was really pushing the boundaries on that one. You not being available really helped underscore the message of “stop trying to make this work.”
We should set up some time to hang. I still have something for you when we get another face to face again.
“When things go well, I am loaded with energy. When things are blocked, I feel like I leak air and go flat. I am feeling pretty flat. I am also aware that by putting more energy into a leaking situation, it goes flat faster. And when flat, it is harder to see where to go to catch the flow.”
I get this, this makes sense in Izzy logic too. This is how this afternoon/evening has been for me. I can’t catch any more flow, so I’m about to go draw a bathtub and try to forget the weird mood today.
p.s. is mercury still in retrograde? Just something to think about.
it looks like it is retrograde until May 11th.
Mercury in retrograde is almost as bad as PMS. Does this mean the world goes into a month long PMS cycle 4 times a year? Bah.
I tried
Work is eating what few brains I have in addition to trying to kill me and Faire is eating my life for three more weeks. There was honestly no way I could justify staying out (let alone awake) until 2 am on a weeknight. Sorry.