So yesterday I dug a hole in my pillow and didn’t come out. I had plans and it felt like it was going to be a good day and it ended up be a waste day. Today started as a waste day. I finally got up around 3pm from a very drugged sleep. The interesting thing is that I got up and actually was motivated to do something. I called a friend to see if I could foist myself on them and their stuff.

I accomplished one task (fixing a chair) and have a major component of another task done (fray-check a rip in a bodice so I can stitch it up). Both of these tasks have been on the to do list for literally years. Probably since before my latest round of depression. It was really wonderful how I felt full of appropriate amounts of energy and could move forward. I received my UI check and it went into the bank. That is the fastest that has ever happened. The paperwork is all filled out and stamped and ready to post at the end of the week. I fed myself and filled the car up with gas.

I also received my report from the Brain Doctor. I think they did a good job nailing me down. They mention my unique way of being and think that I use up a huge amount of energy just translating between me and the rest of the world and that is wearing me down. I am so used to doing it that I think it is easier than anything else. Could be a touch of autism in there. Wouldn’t be surprised. A lot of things support things I have figured out for myself. There were also some things that were uncomfortable to read and find out about myself. Nothing really solid that stands out, more of a general feel I think (or I could be blacking it out in my memory already). They did get stuck on a couple of points that I don’t think are any big deal and that they are reading their own meaning into it. I am very tickled to have done this and to have this information as a resource. I think it is going to be very helpful.