Thank you and library_lynn for the thought but the problem comes from too many days off. Sort of scary when the only thing that helps is when a con pokes me do do something. Even then, it is too small a trickle and I am doing three different jobs at time moment (hotel for Silicon, program book for Loscon, and trying to set up something for ops for loscon).
Getting outside would be a good thing but something I am reluctant to do so it is another fight. I will try to use your comment as a lever to pry me out of the house.
thanks for the thought but the problem stems from having too many days home alone. I can’t even get up the motivation to read a book. Which is sad. I am almost completely caught up on Tivo though.
too many days disconnected. too many days fighting to try to do something, anything other than sleep. too much work put into seeing other people and having them either need more effort or to cancel. too many people I am needing to write off as bad investments. too many close friends having their own crisises, needing time on their own, not needing me and not having room for me to need them. hill feels too high to climb. hill doesn’t feel worth it.
how’s that for a summation?
I think you fit in a niche in my life that on my side you can always ask and it will be appreciated. If you dare would be the question of if you dare open yourself up for it and that is something you get to decide.
Funny thing I noticed with my choice of icons. I have smileys, thoughtful (enneagram), screaming, and nothing. I don’t have a sad. That is not a state I am used to. Depressed yes, that is the scream, but not sad.
The “dare I ask” phrasing is habitual, when a friend is being cryptic, I try to leave them room to stay cryptic if they don’t really want to share.
But I am honored that you trust me
Yeah, my mood icons are weirdly limited as well. I’ve noticed that I don’t seem to have a “Squee” icon, and I can’t differentiate between frustrated-angry and protective-angry, because I have nothing suitable for the former.
*hugs* I believe I understand the rest of it. I’m really sorry to hear it, because I do want you to be happy.
I do wanna… but altogether too often, the donwannas creep down out of their creepy cave and slither hither and yon until they’ve covered the do wanna and tied it up so foully and darkly and immobile… that I donwanna.
but a truly beautiful look at what not to do.
I have this image of a bunch of donwannas (the letters of donwanna strung together) on little legs like centipedes climbing onto some person and covering them. Shades of the Electric Company.
I know the feeling.
*hugs*
thank you
Whelmed
I suggest walking to a park and watching the little things frolic. Squirrels, birds, small people, whatever you got.
Re: Whelmed
Thank you and library_lynn for the thought but the problem comes from too many days off. Sort of scary when the only thing that helps is when a con pokes me do do something. Even then, it is too small a trickle and I am doing three different jobs at time moment (hotel for Silicon, program book for Loscon, and trying to set up something for ops for loscon).
Getting outside would be a good thing but something I am reluctant to do so it is another fight. I will try to use your comment as a lever to pry me out of the house.
I second Chaz’s take the day off suggestion. If not outside, then somewhere comfortable with a favorite book.
thanks for the thought but the problem stems from having too many days home alone. I can’t even get up the motivation to read a book. Which is sad. I am almost completely caught up on Tivo though.
*hugs* Dare I ask what’s up?
–Ember–
too many days disconnected. too many days fighting to try to do something, anything other than sleep. too much work put into seeing other people and having them either need more effort or to cancel. too many people I am needing to write off as bad investments. too many close friends having their own crisises, needing time on their own, not needing me and not having room for me to need them. hill feels too high to climb. hill doesn’t feel worth it.
how’s that for a summation?
I think you fit in a niche in my life that on my side you can always ask and it will be appreciated. If you dare would be the question of if you dare open yourself up for it and that is something you get to decide.
Funny thing I noticed with my choice of icons. I have smileys, thoughtful (enneagram), screaming, and nothing. I don’t have a sad. That is not a state I am used to. Depressed yes, that is the scream, but not sad.
The “dare I ask” phrasing is habitual, when a friend is being cryptic, I try to leave them room to stay cryptic if they don’t really want to share.
But I am honored that you trust me
Yeah, my mood icons are weirdly limited as well. I’ve noticed that I don’t seem to have a “Squee” icon, and I can’t differentiate between frustrated-angry and protective-angry, because I have nothing suitable for the former.
*hugs* I believe I understand the rest of it. I’m really sorry to hear it, because I do want you to be happy.
–Ember–
no I don’t.
you might even be someone who really groks the problem but has a completely different response to it. in that case I envy you, a little.
Faire/Work has eaten my life, but I will make time for you.
You. Me. Dinner Tuesday night?
You are so sweet to me. Tuesdays are booked. Wed?
I do wanna… but altogether too often, the donwannas creep down out of their creepy cave and slither hither and yon until they’ve covered the do wanna and tied it up so foully and darkly and immobile… that I donwanna.
but a truly beautiful look at what not to do.
((((hug))))))
I have this image of a bunch of donwannas (the letters of donwanna strung together) on little legs like centipedes climbing onto some person and covering them. Shades of the Electric Company.
Thank you for this disturbing image.