I made it to work today by 9:30am. First time in like forever.

I was able to do this because I switched my start time to 9am and made 9:30 late and my therapist yelled at me (OK spoke very sternly which I call yelling). I appreciate her willingness to do that. I needed a parental figure to give me what for over this.

She said that making it to work on time was manditory, a point of survival. That it doesn’t mean I am better. Life is going to continue to be horrible but it is the same horrible as it would be half an hour to an hour later. This is not an accomplishment. It doesn’t mean I will be able to do anything more. It also won’t make anything worse.

These are all things I needed to hear from a source outside myself.

I have noticed that I am in an extremely pissy mood. I have little tollerance or patience with people today. I can still be my bright chipper self but if any small thing crosses me, I am very much Not Pleased. I suspect it is because I used up so many ergs of energy getting here only half an hour late that I don’t have any left over. Time will tell.