someone mentioned yesterday that i haven’t posted in a while so she didn’t know how i was doing. This is a quicky to let people know i am fine.
things are better than they were, there are even some bright spots. but there are still negatives that need work and i am focusing on them. i am having a hard time with people saying “yay! things are better,” because it feels like it is invalidating the stuff that is still hard to deal with and I have to bring that back to the front.
Everything feels as hard as before but i know that is a perception thing. i am not as needy as before and am working on building my internal resources.
my internet connection at home is currently all messed up. it looks to be a problem with my laptop modem and i have someone at MMG working on it. i am also doing a lot of graphic type work for local conventions so while i am not making any money, i am rather busy.
i do need to acknowledge that many good things have come my way. i have a little work. i am back to being able to work. the stuff i did for baycon was successful. added together, my experiences at con end up on the positive side and i can use some things as learning experiences for the resource building that i am doing.
not as quick as i thought but a good overview. (man, it is hard to write in all lower case)
Wanna Trade?
You still have the spear. I have your jacket *AND* the first Ginaberries of the season are starting to ripen on the vine. If we can get some sunshine, M or T should see the first batch.
I suspect the point of saying “Yay! Things are Better!” isn’t to ignore what remains of the negative, but to emphasize the positive.
There was a thing about that concept that I was wrestling with myself not long ago.
*hugs and love* Good luck to you in your continued work. We’ll keep in touch via email and phone, if not LJ, I’m sure.
–Ember–
I realize it is not an ignore but an emphasize. I am just noticing in my strong reaction to hearing others say it when they find out I am better that it feels like an ignore. Like the only thing that matters is the happy side of things. And right now, I am done with only focusing on the happy. I am probably pendulum swinging the other direction and will be coming back towards a happy medium someday.