When something happens once, it just happens. When it happens twice, I start to wonder if it is a pattern. When it happens three times, I am pretty sure it is a pattern.
I think I am seeing a pattern. For the last three Baycons, I have left Baycon with new connections that feel very important to me both personally and spiritually. I am not sure but I think it is one of each.
Out of Baycon 2004, I got one connection that ended up being the first pebble in a pretty big avalanche that caused a great deal of grief. The other connection ended up not working out the way we wanted and finally faded away not having a very large impact on my life.
Baycon 2005 gave me two connections, one which did not work out the way we wanted but hopefully will continue to be a positive influence in my life. The other seems to have decided to fade away.
It feels like there were lessons to be learned from these connections that didn’t get finished. And that might be why they are repeating. I am trying to watch what I am doing and the consequences of my actions to make things work out right and learn the lessons that are showing up.
Baycon 2006 seems to have resulted in one connection. I think I went in with a connection already which gives me my two. I think in the past the problems I have had was of being too open, becoming overly attached, and being overwhelming in my attentions. I am trying to back off and take things at a more even keel. Things look good so far. But then again, they looked good, real good after the last two baycons as well.
I just hope this time thinks work the way they are suppose to and the connections turn into whatever they are suppose to become and everyone gets good out of it. I don’t need them to be anything in particular. I just don’t want to feel that I ended up wasting my time, effort, and energy on a connection that had no point. I want the connections grow and not feel like they have been cut off too soon. I want to learn my lessons so I can go onto the next ones and not have to repeat these.
crossing appendages for you!
*hug*
btw: this post reminded me of the dream of you at a con in a wedding dress…
dream of you at a con in a wedding dress
{GRIN}
That was last year when she was one of the 9 Undead Jilted Brides of Sauron.
lol…
I saw pics of that… beautiful as it was, not the same.
No seriously – I told her about this dream a few weeks ago.
I opened a hotel door room to find her headed from left to right across the open door trying to get down the hall without being noticed. She was wearing a traditional (which is why it was so weird) white, lacy wedding gown with a seriously long train which she had thrown over her right arm. She was mad at me in the dream for some reason – so I just hugged her and told her not to be mad at me, we’d fix it later – and she said she had to run or be late (she was going to a room down the hall) and we agreed to talk later.
The weird part is – I never got the impression that the dress was part of a costume – which would be my normal thought with her! That’s probably why I remembered it… 2 odd things!
Well, I do have a number of wedding dresses in my closet. I wear them as formal wear. They are pretty. And for some reason I like wearing white. Almost as much as I like wearing black.
But I do get the connections you had in the dream about it being a wedding dress for a wedding. And that is odd for me.
And before, what I meant about you thinking that I am mad at you is while you know I not (disagrements over LJ is silly) but your subconscious might be interpreting some of my actions/statements as being mad at you and that is what is processing. And I am not sure there aren’t people that had to deal with me at the con who took my actions personally and feel I am mad at them.
I know you know better but this is a dream after all.