Not doing all that well. Pretty sad state of affairs for the 4th day without work. Feel like I have siezed up, frozen, stuck. I have been getting up sometime in the afternoon, between 2pm and 4 or 5. To bed between midnight and maybe 3am. Sleeping loads. Even when up, I am doing practically nothing. Reading email/LJ, watching TiVo, reading, lying around daydreaming. Eating loads of sugar (ok, for me that is a couple of full size candy bars). I have many things to do, just no motivation to do anything. I have loads of people I could call but I didn’t want to have to deal with people not available or not knowing what to do.
It doesn’t count as drinking in the morning if you drink right after getting up in the afternoon, right.
I haven’t left the house or gotten dressed for two full days. I haven’t spoken to hardly anyone today.
I have hit a little mini wall with all the buzz on sugar tonight. I have finally kicked in a little mini manic session. I have finally tackled the boxes left from my old job and cleaned them out. I no longer have to manuver around them in the kitchen. I have also paid my bills and that has been hovering over me, hounding my head into the sand for a week. I am close to zero in the checking account so I have to make sure to get the last paycheck into the bank tomorrow. I am now ordering check refills.
So, I guess it is a good thing to stuff myself with sugar. At least this time.
The first step is notincing what you are doing. The second is admitting it. Someday, hopefully I will get to the step where I can change it or avoid doing it in the first place. Today is not that day.
I would say I need help but I don’t know what I would be willing to accept. Don’t know what to suggest. I feel very resistant to almost everything. Except sleeping and laying around of course.
You will be leaving the house today to join us for dinner w/ Pumpkin and his wife, right? Hey, it’s an excuse to over dress! This is Pumpkin, so he’ll be wearing jeans and a clean t-shirt since he’s leaving the house. I’ll be wearing my good jeans and a nice sweater.
Chicken, Pasta, Bread, Salad – hey, we’ll even pull out the DVD’s of Babylon 5.
All we’d need for a complete “Family Dinnner” is Jas, Todd, Highlander & Thumper and possibly Ransom.
{hug} see you tonight!
Plan stuff to do. Meet someone for cheap chinese food or Even like ‘Go to park at noon’ or ‘go to bank’. It will add structure to your day and get you moving and planning to do other things. A wide open day can be a problem when unemplyed and listless
I don’t mean to tell you what to do so please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think that it is very important for you to impose a regement to you life lest you fall into a deabilitating depression.
You need to set your alarm clock and MAKE yourself get up a 8 in the morning or so. Shower and put on clothes that you can leave the house in. You need to commit to calling your temp agencies on their designated mornings and commit to signing up for one more each week. If nothing else it keeps you in interviewing form. Dedicate the rest of the morning to searching the job boards (Monster, Careerbuilder, Craigslist) for suitable work and do not stop until noon at the earliest.
You absolutely positively MUST take care of yourself. Eat right, make yourself get out at least once each day and go for a half hour walk or some other exercise.
You may need to look into finding a therapist to help with coping, but it is very important that you fight this.
Please, don’t give up. when I lost the job at BGI was getting divorced from my ex and living at my brother’s place, I had to struggle everyday with the urge to give up. I didn’t and I am glad. Things got better for me and they will for you too.
Oh yeah, if you are still seeing a therapist, you’ll definitely want to mention this to him/her.