Health: I may have really had early appendicitis and had it appropriately treated with antibiotics. It seems to be one way that it is being treated these days. But the direct result from two bags of antibiotics in the hospital and 7 days of 3 pills a day of antibiotics is a yeast infection. I have either never had one or have never had such an intense one but it hurts like hell. Chapped and cracked skin in very sensitive spots. Every time I move, stand up, sit down, use the bathroom, it hurts. I have 7 days of goop to mess with. I was told the 3 day stuff is just the 7 day stuff double concentrated. And the 1 day stuff is the 7 day stuff concentrated to 1 day. And each the pain increases with the concentration. The doctor has never heard of anyone trying the 1 day one more than once. And it doesn’t usually work. So it is the 7 day stuff for me and 2 pills. Oh the joys of my health. I swear there is nothing very seriously wrong with me, just a whole lot of stuff that is annoying, inconvenient, somewhat painful.
Job:
My position has been listed on craigslist. Well, my position expanded to include Writer with 5 years of experience for the same amount of pay. And my boss hasn’t spoken to me about it yet. We in the office think he is waiting until he find a replacement for me first. My probationary time is ending Aug 31st. I can tell I am not what he wants. What he really wants is another version of him. Someone that will create the content the way he would do it so he doesn’t have to do it. I am beginning to feel similar here as I did at BGI. I am calling the temp agencies on Monday letting them know I will be available Sept 1st. I figure to talk to my boss either this Monday or next (when he gets back from vacation and which would be my last day) and let him know I am not what he is looking for and that I will stay until I get another position if he would like. I will see what will happen.
Love:
I am single again. My boyfriend has spent a lot of time thinking (we both have, I am just doing it all the time so I finished sooner) and realized that a life long dream would get in the way of anything serious working out between us. He has a dream of working for the Movie Studios, most of which are in LA that he has been putting a lot of energy into for years. Because I can’t handle the heat, building a life with me would lead to either him resenting me because his options/opportunities would be limited and he might not realize his dream, or him leaving me when an option did arise, or me resenting him if I did follow him to someplace too hot for me and I was trapped in buildings due to the heat. (anyone that is thinking of suggesting air conditioning read my heat post under Gina Manual. The idea would work for borderline temps but not for the long term hot temps found in most of California. My panic has outstripped that because of the problems I have had.) We get along so well, we were on a serious track. There was a lot of good in that relationship. It did not follow the pattern of past relationships which I find to be a good sign. He and I managed to really work on problems and it showed me that it is possible. I thank him for that. The issue is the life dream. He is the only one that knows the depth of that need in him and if it is at that level, then I want out before we end up mattering more to each other, just the same as him. It hurts enough as is. I love him, I will miss him. I didn’t want to get hurt again and it was a real risk for me to even start dating him. Except for the pain, I feel it was a positive thing. It will be awhile before I am willing to risk again. Could be days, weeks or even months. I hope it isn’t years. I get hurt easily but I heal quickly too.
That was this week.
I am getting tired of having such full weeks. Next week is dedicated to the play Equus. Maybe with it being a drama all in its own, my life can be drama-free.
August is getting to be a pattern: Enneagram breakthrough, Hospital, Breakup with boyfriend. Bah
Does it mean anything when I hear Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day and Shout by Tears for Fears twice on the radio withing about an hour or so? I was channel flipping when boring songs come on and these two were the only songs I heard repeated on separate stations. I get Green Day, it is a relatively current song but Tears for Fears? Shout? The universe must be telling me something. 
Just a thought – there is currently a *ton* of movie production being done in Canada… and most of the places that this is being done are even better temperature-wise for you.
Just FYI.
*hugs*
Actually, my dad had that suggestion too. But the ex wants to work for the Studios, the office, not the production. He might do work in Canada but a lot of his work would be in the corporate home office. Those are the connections he is making.
There are a couple of studios around here, like Lucus and one the Wayan brothers are thinking of starting, but the ex feels he would resent me eventually for the restriction of options, especially if he wasn’t able to get a job for a studio here and there might have been possibilities elsewhere. Or at least he doesn’t want to take that risk. He has already applied for a project management job (something he is really good in) in LA because it is with a movie related company and another step closer.
Thanks for the thought.
You’re up late. I hope the little one isn’t keeping you up.
I’m sorry to hear that, I think you will get a new job and when you feel like it, a new boyfriend too.
I’m sorry you’ve had a bad run. I hope things will be looking up soon.
On the TMI front –Desitin – stinks of fish since a primary ingredient is cod liver oil, but boy howdy does it take care of chapping/chafing. You’ll find it in the diaper (baby) aisle.
I get the feeling the depth of the disconnect between you and boyfriend regarding future goals is larger than can be stated simply and that you have made the right decision. That said, I would like to point out that I grew up in LA and the temperatures in the coastal communities are drastically different than those inland. My parents’ house is in Venice, specifically because they don’t tolerate heat and/or smog well and being close to the beach (a mile away) minimizes these problems.
Hey Gina, just sending you good thoughts. I kind of know how you feel on some of these things and for all the pain I think you did the right thing. Hang in there, we never know when the good stuff will come along and it helps to be ready for it.
-Bert
Hey Bert. I didn’t know this was you. Good to see you. You are now on the friends list.
And thanks for the thoughts.
It’s a small world.
Miss seeing you. Must fix.
So, I’m sitting here trying to play catch-up with LJ and reading your entry – while my CD play, first – “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”, followed by “Run” by Snow Patrol. Waaaaaaaaahhh!!!
I’m glad your health issues are on the mend and that everything is treatable with relative ease (if not comfort). As for the job situation, it sounds like you’re in mutual agreement about it not being a good fit and, since you’re aware of how your boss feels and can be proactive about it, I’ve got the feeling that things will only get better there.
As for the matters of the heart… *massive* (((((hugs)))) . . . and hot chocolate (with lots of tiny marshmallows) . . . and more (((hugs))) . . . and a liberal application of tears. “They” say that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. By that measure, some of us could give the Gubernator a run for his money, huh? However, the fact truly is that you will survive and be stronger. Even as you go into this, you know you’ll come out the other side. (Think how you felt when your heart broke the first time and you *knew* the world had ended.) If there’s one truly positive thing I find as I grow older, it’s that I can take a longer view on things and, when neck-deep in crap, remember that the tide will eventually go out again. ‘Til then, *massive* (((((hugs)))) . . . and hot chocolate (with lots of tiny marshmallows) . . . and more (((hugs))) . . . and a liberal application of tears.
Uh, hi. (waving foolishly in the corner) That was me. Sorry. I forgot to log in. *sigh*
(slinks quietly back to corner with tail between legs)
*waves*
Just letting you know it’s being read.
Hope to talk in person soon.