I have decided to tender my resignation this week, hopefully monday. I don’t have another job lined up but I am tired of being sick all the time. Going to work results in actual physical discomfort that has kept me out of work a few times over the last couple of weeks. Once I made this decision and have taken steps towards actually doing it, my life has gotten so much better. Things I just couldn’t face for weeks, like washing dishes, working on costumes, cleaning up my apt… have started to seem like no big deal and are in the process on getting accomplished. For weeks, I haven’t had the energy to do much in a day. I have done more this weekend than I have probably in the last three weeks combined.

Since I haven’t found another job yet, I am figuring on doing the temp agency route. I have found that the library would love to have me drop in to shelve books when I have a free day. My big problem now is finding a way to get me out of bed in the morning. I don’t do well without external structure. I am able to blow off my own plans easily.

Financially and intellectually, I have my ducks in a row. Emotionally, there are a lot of holes in my safety net. I am trying to figure out ways to take care of that. It is not something easy for me to do or to ask for. I reached out in Dec and Jan and found out I had a lot more holes than I thought I did and now I hardly reach out at all. This is probably the thing that bothers me the most about leaving my job. But then again, it has been one of the things that had damaged me so removing it is a step in a good direction and worth losing the positive things.

My costume is almost finished for Baycon. I just have three things to hem. Then it is time to work on ComicCon and next year’s World con costumes. I think it is about the only thing I am interested in enough to actually work on. I have a lot of cool clothes and costumes and very few places to wear them. Hopefully, as time passes, I will come out of my hermit shell and start attending things again.