lrc posted a link to this interesting essay about Nerds. It has many interesting things in it but a paragraph really stood out for me.

The word I most misunderstood was “tact.” As used by adults, it seemed to mean keeping your mouth shut. I assumed it was derived from the same root as “tacit” and “taciturn,” and that it literally meant being quiet. I vowed that I would never be tactful; they were never going to shut me up. In fact, it’s derived from the same root as “tactile,” and what it means is to have a deft touch. Tactful is the opposite of clumsy. I don’t think I learned this until college.

This is the best explanation of the way I understand tact and how it is misunderstood.

I have a few friends that seem to think tact means keeping their mouth shut and therefore not being honest. Being honest is important to them, so they throw tact to the wind. For me, tact means means being honest in a way that tries to keep the damage to a minimum.

And example:
An honest answer to the dangerous question “Do these pants make my butt look big?” would be “yes they do.” Honesty with tact would be to say, “hmmm, the cut on those pants doesn’t flatter you but that green pair you have look really good.” You are still being honest but in a non-hurtful way.

I am pretty good with honest. I am typically blunt about it as well. I am always trying to learn to be better with tact. I think it is important to know that being honest does mean you have to forgo tact. It is easy to be honest and hurtful when you don’t need to be. If you can apply tact to that honesty and get the same information across, that would be much better. Sometimes all it takes is being careful on how you say something or watching to see if the recipient is ready to hear what you have to say.