I be Opposite

Fricking plip! I am tired of having the opposite reaction to things from other people. I keep getting hit with things and others are happy.

They are moving us at work. Into our own little cubicles. We will get a little more privacy than our current 3 foot desk walls. And the groups will be separated. We don’t have to listen to everyone anymore. And we get a TV that will be on all day. Fricken pile of plip. One of the main reasons I agreed to work here way back when was that it was a bullpen set up and I would work with a large-ish group. Now I am going to be off by myself with a little window to talk to ONE other person in my group. Away from my best friend. With a Damn TV looming over my shoulder. Welcome to what I would call a Hostile Work Environment and others think is a step up.

Today, around 11:30am, we get the news that the head of our entire department says we can go home at 1pm. Fricken blast! People are dancing around and I am pissed. I am here because I don’t want to be at home. Here, I am surrounded by people that keep me distracted from all the garbage my head is drowning in. I have contacts here, I can do things. I have the internet to entertain me. At home, I have things I should do and don’t want to do. I have isolation. Lack of structure. I am left to my own devices and they aren’t working all that well. I don’t want to be at work but I want to be at home even less. I have things to do and people to see Sat and Sun but Monday is a day off. And it is empty. I am having a devil of a time trying to do what I need to to fill it.

Nothing is all that bad in my life, not like the crap that is hitting the fan for so many other people. That doesn’t mean I don’t hurt as much as them, just that I don’t have the justification to hurt as much as them. Which adds that much more to the whole ball of wax.

Life is a Bitch and then you die. Can we just skip to the dying part now please.

14 thoughts on “I be Opposite

  1. *hugs*

    I would go bonkers with a TV on at work. I cannot stand ambient television noise or light.

    Too bad it’s probably going to be cable, or you could get a tv signal noise generator of some sort, to make it so staticky that everyone else turns it off. :)

    1. That is it exactly, ambient television noise or light. It pulls on me and it is a constant fight not to give in.

      I thought about attacking it with wire cutters but I have let too many people know about my displeasure. At one time, it was the point I would quit over. Now I don’t know. This might give me another option. Just hurt the cable. Hmmmm

  2. NOOOOO dying.

    Sorry, but that is the way it is. No dying for you.

    Besides, if you die now, you will never get to dress up and “win” Awesomest Costume at Gaskell’s in October (yes, I know there is no such prize, but you know that costumes are rad at Gaskells and that your costumes are always high on that rad list).

    So there.

  3. *hug*

    The TV thing is just wrong. It makes me bonkers even in situations where it makes sense…waiting rooms at hospitals, for instance. I would invest in earplugs if they’re at all practical for what you do.

    As for skipping to the dying part….well, I’ve been in that place too. There’s not much that was useful to have said to me when I was there, but I can say that it got better, and that I’m glad now to have stayed alive. And I hope you will be able to feel that way soon.

  4. I would absolutely tell your boss that the tv makes your working environment hostile. Having it on can’t possibly contribute to the job your department is supposed to do, so maybe they’ll turn at least the one near you off.

    Being stuck at home with unpleasant tasks facing you is never fun. Personally, I’d run away to the library (free books and free internet and sometimes very comfy chairs) or a movie (but I don’t mind going by myself). If I was getting off early, I’d come hang with you. *hugs*

  5. Well…

    …if you have no desire to just stay at home, you’re more than welcome to come over to my place on Monday and just hang.

    I’m not sure how much company the Boy and I will be since he is “supposed” to be sewing, but you’re more than welcome, watch t.v., avoid the cats, or just bring something and sew. :-)

  6. I’m with you on the TV thing. I -hate- having the TV on the in the background. Completely shatters my attention and I can’t not watch it, even when it’s something I want -not- to see. If it’s on and in the same room, I cannot ignore it.

    As for the rest, would it be possible to move you to the cubicle next to your friend? Maybe decorating your to match your car would make you feel better about the isolation? And certainly talk to someone about the TV: it’s not just going to annoy you but it’s going to destroy your productivity. It’s in their best interests to not subject you to the evil thing.

    I’m sorry home is so unhappy right now. There’s nothing like being stuck somewhere that just emphasises how unhappy you are. You can come hang out with me at work, which is a lot like a library except comfier chairs (if you can get ‘em) and no internet. But there is a movie cinema right next door.

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