Latest update, I am doing better today than I was yesterday. Yeah!

New thoughts: It doesn’t matter where you are going, it matters where you are.

Most of the agony of yesterday, I think was tied up in the future. While I am not looking forward to what I am going to have to do about certain events (like finding a new doctor), I shouldn’t hurt today over it. It will a big enough pain later. I normally work on things today so I am prepared and they aren’t so painful in the future. It didn’t feel like I was worrying but I guess that is the category those feeling go in. Since it wasn’t being productive, I needed to let it go. I don’t do that well. A talk with a friend reminded me of dramatic times in my life when I have decided to live without regard to the consequences. This was my way of living for now, and letting later take care of itself. Being who I am, there is no way I can let go enough that the consequences could be permanently damaging, so this is a possible attitude to have. I just can’t stay here for long.

Since the events that are “worrying” me are not traumatic/dramatic enough to throw me into a “damn the consequences” attitude, it is hard to make the transition and stay there. But still, I am doing better.

If I keep up this updating thing, I might have to quite saying I hate to write.

You know, you never know how much you use contractions until you have to clean up the text from copying it from MSWord. I use a lot of contractions.