There have been up days and now for the down days

I was going to use LJ as an place to put update on the life of The Gina. That means actual updates, both good and bad.

Today is one of the not-so-goods. I can’t call it bad just because I don’t like it, so it is no-so-good. And I can’t really explain why. Lots of maybes but no actual “this is why my life sucks…”

Maybe…

…I have been running full steam and Carping as many Diems as I can and maybe my reserves have just ran out.

…I have been having health problems (feeling sick, dizzy, nauseated, headaches) from a medication I am on and trying to get off. I should be able to quit tomorrow. Maybe I am just tired after dealing with this for the last month and half. I feel beaten in this regards to this. I also told my doctor today that I didn’t feel that I have been getting the care I need from her and that discussion just got frustrating and defeating.

…I have been very happy lately and yesterday I stubbed my emotional toe. I could be down in the dumps because I can see how much it will hurt if I keep going the way I have been going and getting more involved and caring more.

…I have costume events coming up and I am not as ready as I want to be at this point and I am running out of time. That could be taking it out of me.

…or I could be entering a depression which happens now and again and is beyond my control.

Too many things, too many variables, too frustrating to try to figure out. I don’t know what I need, I just know I don’t feel like I am getting it. I don’t know if I should just accept this or try to do something about it and if so, what?

Blech

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