I had a good weekend. After the dearth of plans for last weekend (while I did have something to do each day, as of noon on Friday I only had Plough on Monday night), this weekend blossomed into something closer to my normal, if somewhat busy, schedule.

Friday night, at the end of the workday, I got to spend some time talking with a friend from work. That nasty work stuff keeps getting in our way of socializing. Then I hurried home to get ready for a Disaster House Party. I really wanted to dress with velvet and be sexy and petted but figured that I wanted the attention too much and if it didn’t work, I would be crushed. So I wore a cool plaid jacket and a simple princess seam dress that looks better on me than it has in awhile because I have lost weight. Just for the record, I did get the attention from my outfit I was hoping for and it was all that much more special since I wasn’t expecting it.

I was planning on getting there on the early side so that I can socialize with the hosts but alas, that was not to be. I made it there around 10pm. During the first hour, I was feeling on edge like I normally do. I don’t like going to parties. I feel like I don’t belong. I wonder if I should give up and go home. Then I stick it out for more than hour and next thing I know, I am closing down the party at O-dark-thirty and I have had a wonderful time. This memory is what gets me to go to the next party and stick threw it until I am in the swing of things. I left around 5:30am. I had a wonderful time, got lots of attention, met cool people and got a really big ego boost that has been making me smile for days. All in all, a good time.

Sat, tried to sleep from 6:30am to around 2pm and not doing a very good job. Rest was had but there was a lot of staring at the inside of my eyelids wanting to kill the people in the apartment building for not being quiet in the middle of a Sat. Ha. Got up and ready and out the door around 4pm for another party. Friends from out of town have a gathering every time they are in town. There are many of us that only see each other at these times. These people have the power to bend me to their will, of course I will go to their parties. This power could very well exist because they don’t use it that often and they make me feel good when they do. This was another party where i feel odd at first and then never want to leave. The party was called to a halt around 8pm because they have to drive back to Redding early in the morning so off I was to find food.

After refueling, I headed down to my other event that day, PEERS Tango on the Nile ball. I get there around 10pm, pay my $20 and am ready to go at 10:30. (see a trend?) A friend I was hoping to see wasn’t there, many people I know from these events weren’t there, I don’t know many of the dances from that period, I was exhausted from the events of the weekend so far. But The music was pretty good, there were people I don’t get to talk to often, I got an opportunity to tell a story so well that I have been telling the story of telling that story numerous times, and many new people, and great costumes/clothes. I managed to stick it out for awhile longer and all of a sudden, it was midnight and they were kicking us out. I made it home just fine and crashed happy.

So, that is the end of my weekend plans. I figured Sunday was my day of recovery and man, did I need it. I normally don’t do that many intense things in that short of a time except for cons. Around noon (maybe 11?), while still trying to make hours on the sleep front, I get a call from a friend wondering if I wanted to come hang out for the day while she worked on stuff. I was so pleased to be thought of and wanted, I didn’t care I got woken-up. I blathered on the phone telling stories for it must have been an hour on the phone before we broke off so I could get up and eat. Friday night had introduced the possibility of getting together with someone later that evening I needed to see if it was actually going to happen and then I would get back to her. It was decided that Sunday evening would be too tight a schedule crunch so my day turned out to be completely free. After much crashing and laying down in between stages of getting ready, I finally got to the new house around 2-ish (?) and got to blather more stories and to listen to stories. My other friend came home and I got to hang with both the Danger Twins which was nice. I was a little sorry I couldn’t get my act in gear earlier because I would have like to hang out with the earlier guests. (I am being very vague about who is who, aren’t I? Figured I started that way and I shouldn’t switch mid-stream. Consider it a mystery to figure out, if you will.) At 7:30pm I headed home to watch Desperado on TNT. I wanted to work on some projects but managed to lie on the couch and only close my eyes during the commercials. At 10pm, I head to bed for some much needed sleep.

All in all, it was a really good weekend. It ranks up there with a good con where I abuse my body for the sake of fun and crash at the hotel. It is closer to how my schedule usually is versus the last month. This week is a little packed too. I have my normal Mon, Tue, Thurs commitments and Eddie Izzard!!!!! on Wed and another Labyrinth even at Grace Cathedral on Fri.

Now that the weekend is over, I have once again descended into the miasma of my life. I enjoyed the break from it. My mother is going to be here on Tuesday from Bali and no matter what happens or doesn’t happen, it is a lose/lose situation. Other fronts are getting better, slowly. I am trying hard not to downgrade the enjoyment I had this weekend to justify the moroseness of the current moment. And I am trying to not jolly myself by insisting that I be happy because I had a good weekend. This is what leads to downgrading the good times. I am trying to take each feeling for what it is really worth and letting it be. While it doesn’t change the over all mood, every now and then, I do break out in a smile, I remember the ego boosts I have had and I have a bright moment before going back down again. Looking back, even though things are on a down side, I think I am in a better place than I was Friday. At least, I seem to be interested in things a bit again.

This is a reminder that it takes time.