Something happened to me that has never happened before. I got an email off of my website from a stranger asking me about my Nazgul costume because this person wanted to make one and was impressed with mine.
Big ego boost. So I made a web page will all the info I thought would be useful.
Sometimes I think I go a little overboard. 
I am tickled pink to be able to share the info I gathered in making mine with someone else.
Latest update, I am doing better today than I was yesterday. Yeah!
New thoughts: It doesn’t matter where you are going, it matters where you are.
Most of the agony of yesterday, I think was tied up in the future. While I am not looking forward to what I am going to have to do about certain events (like finding a new doctor), I shouldn’t hurt today over it. It will a big enough pain later. I normally work on things today so I am prepared and they aren’t so painful in the future. It didn’t feel like I was worrying but I guess that is the category those feeling go in. Since it wasn’t being productive, I needed to let it go. I don’t do that well. A talk with a friend reminded me of dramatic times in my life when I have decided to live without regard to the consequences. This was my way of living for now, and letting later take care of itself. Being who I am, there is no way I can let go enough that the consequences could be permanently damaging, so this is a possible attitude to have. I just can’t stay here for long.
Since the events that are “worrying” me are not traumatic/dramatic enough to throw me into a “damn the consequences” attitude, it is hard to make the transition and stay there. But still, I am doing better. Continue reading
I was going to use LJ as an place to put update on the life of The Gina. That means actual updates, both good and bad.
Today is one of the not-so-goods. I can’t call it bad just because I don’t like it, so it is no-so-good. And I can’t really explain why. Lots of maybes but no actual “
Maybe…
…I have been running full steam and Carping as many Diems as I can and maybe my reserves have just ran out.
…I have been having health problems (feeling sick, dizzy, nauseated, headaches) from a medication I am on and trying to get off. I should be able to quit tomorrow. Maybe I am just tired after dealing with this for the last month and half. I feel beaten in this regards to this. I also told my doctor today that I didn’t feel that I have been getting the care I need from her and that discussion just got frustrating and defeating.
…I have been very happy lately and yesterday I stubbed my emotional toe. I could be down in the dumps because I can see how much it will hurt if I keep going the way I have been going and getting more involved and caring more.
…I have costume events coming up and I am not as ready as I want to be at this point and I am running out of time. That could be taking it out of me.
…or I could be entering a depression which happens now and again and is beyond my control.
Too many things, too many variables, too frustrating to try to figure out. I don’t know what I need, I just know I don’t feel like I am getting it. I don’t know if I should just accept this or try to do something about it and if so, what?
Blech
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