I have been away from LJ for a long time. First it was my new job that left no time for unnecessary things. I managed to kick my facebook habit because of that. I lost that job after three months (it was not a good fit, I am what they asked for but not what they needed and thought they were getting). I entered another spell of hermit like behavior and really didn’t do much reaching out. My facebook habit hasn’t been restarted, thank goodness. Actually the only reason I am here now is because I wanted to look up some stories I might have put here. Since I need the stories for an online class I am taking I am sure there is some avoidance tendencies in action.
Something of note from the time gap is that I am working on something new that my mom introduced me to, NVC. It is the communication model necessary for what the non-violent movement attempts to achieve. There are a lot of similarities between the way I communicate and look at things and the methods of the NVC model. I do them for different reasons. In some ways the fact that my methods are so close and go to a different end result makes learning this stuff harder. But I feel it is very much worth it. It is focused on connection, empathy, and choice. Since these are important to me I appreciate whatever moment I get in this direction.
I must say that in reading over some of my thoughtful entries, I am impressed by how well written they are. I don’t feel I could produce them now. But I know that I probably didn’t feel I wrote all that well back then either. I keep a lot of my old work around just to remind myself of some of my talents and skills. When I feel I am no good at something I have proof that at one time I was good. Some of the time if I really am lousy at something that was good in my past, it is because my skills are rusty. That proof I have shows me that with some effort I could be that good again. Society teaches us that we aren’t supposed to brag about ourselves so it admitting it to myself let alone writing it out. But honestly I am really proud of my writings of my thoughtful posts.
I’m glad you’ve found some of your writing good, and that you can admit it, in text or “verbally” in your own head. It can be valuable to say and believe.
You and your mom have both crossed my mind multiple times of late.
I wish I had the wherewithall to teleport us all out to lunch to just dine and discuss.
I’d ask her about your trip to Scotland that one year inspired by my postcard from Ireland. I’d ask her how she did it.. and does she still think I could do it now? I’d ask you if you thought it had anything to do with changing your viewpoint on bullies and Americanisms and archaic social structures.
Mostly, I’d just lilke to say hi. Miss you.