Really not wanting to exist right now. I have been hiding in my hole trying to reboot and am currently feeling very stressed out and like there isn’t a clear direction to move in. I know it is all in my head and I am whipping it up but that doesn’t lessen the affect it is having on me.
Not enjoying the concept of life at this time. Not enjoying the concept of being me at this time.
A thing that does bring a smile to my face is Happy Jewish Dead Zombie Day. I like that.
So, you know how they say you shouldn’t text when you’re drunk? Making an evaluation of our own value or of reality while enmeshed is family is kindof like that. It’s a time to say okay, I have to focus on survival and positive things (flowers! music! Whatever works), and later, when I have more systems in place that can actually support me and reality, then I can look at myself. Right now, get thru. Get what You intended out of the family interaction. And make sure those intentions are realistic.
(I’m Preparing for family visit in 2 weeks)