I realized that I have actually heard from both of my parents now (I think within the last year if not the last 6 months) that they are glad I decided not to have kids. I can’t remember what my father’s thing was. My mother is grateful that our family shit is not getting passed down through me. In some ways she wish it wasn’t being passed down through my brother either. She would prefer it stop with us.
Not that it is any great horror, just she is seeped in the crap right now and sees the good about the crap not continuing. I think I am learning where I get my overly large reactions from.
Thinking about posting this, I realize most older adults who are single and childless have to deal with their parents asking them when are they going to get grandchildren. My family is unique enough and wired backwards enough to thank me for not creating more grandchildren. ::sigh::
I got the “I want to be a grandmother” speech from my mom pretty much the entire time I was dating my ex. Once I moved 80 miles away and didn’t talk to her for 10 or so years I ceased to get The Speech. Luckily, my brother has provided her with the coveted blue-eyed grandchild.
I think my parents would kinda like to have grandkids but they never give me shit about it. They’d much rather I be happy and live the life I want. They were always really good about that. The closest I’ve heard is once or twice my mom mentioning wistfully how much one of her friends enjoys their grandkids.
My mom used to poke me about it until I almost burst into tears, angrily pointed out that I want kids at least as much as she wants grandkids, and am NOT happy with not having been able to arrange my life such that I already have them, but I’d be delighted to change gears and raise kids immediately.
Provided that she will pay for their existence.
She hasn’t pushed me since.
I love my mother
–Ember–
You’re very fortunate in this. Dealing with someone else’s desperate desire for grandchildren was one of the more painful parts of my life.