Today is different

Yesterday ended on a craptastic note. I was doing well with the Keep Gina Social project and even enjoying myself. Then I got a call moving an appointment from today to Thursday when I already had two other things scheduled. It is something I should have a choice on but I felt I really didn’t. And I had the same sort of appointment cancelled on my last week. So after a week of long unfilled days used up in 18 hour sleep sessions I was having things squished into one day. It shouldn’t have made me that upset but it did. My entire attitude took a nosedive and I got really cranky. But the time I finished my outing with a friend and got home I had a migraine moving in. I also remembered I hadn’t taken my meds when I was suppose to so that was a factor as well. Because I had flipped my sleep schedule and was trying to turn it right side out again, I had about half an hours sleep in 24 hours so add that in as well. I managed to drug myself up enough to not end up with more than a headache and get to sleep maybe around midnight.

And today? Wow! I woke up at 7:30am to the rain and felt pretty good. I had my shake and checked out the rain. Yup, wet. Love it! I watched some TV. I called a friend (since by then it was a reasonable hour of the day) and left a message about getting together for lunch. I started making plans to hit the DMV for a new driver’s license and the bank to see if I could get a new temp ATM card and a new pic for my debit card. I felt uneasy and uncomfortable laying around watching TV. After the one show, I was done. I actually felt like I wanted to get out of the house. This is practically unheard of in my typical life. I didn’t even have anything scheduled that required me to leave or a push on myself that it would be good for me. I wanted to do it. I started folding sheets from laundry done a couple of weeks ago and putting away clothes. Without forcing myself to do it. It came naturally. This is how I think it should always be. You think of it and then you do it. There wasn’t this huge mountain pressing down on me to fight to make something happen. Amazing.

I got a call back about lunch with a no go and that didn’t dent my day at all. Just meant I had more time to work out the other things on my plate. The appointment that was cancelled got rescheduled to 1:30 due to an opening. I hoped in the shower to get ready. Again, unheard of. I normally have to get myself into the shower. The entire getting ready process is a big reason other things don’t happen. Or it feels like it (sure I could take out the trash but that would require putting clothes on and that is too much so I will just lay here and live with yet another bag of trash). It is so neat to be doing things just because it is a good thing to do them. No fighting myself. No pushing against a boulder stuck in sloppy mud. No fighting with gravity or anxiety. No feeling the need to bury my face into something soft and pretend the world doesn’t exist.

I am sure this won’t last, it will come and go and things progress. But I wanted to note that it is here now. Also to ponder how much of it being here now is related to the fact that it is raining finally? I get the whole dark and dreary thing that other people have with this kind of weather. It is sort of depressing if I let it get to me. But underneath part of me just unfolds and seems to thrive when water falls out of the sky.

I knew that not having a job through the summer, especially Sept was not going to be a good thing. I didn’t think it would as bad as it seems to have turned out.

All in all, I am pleased it is raining. Even if it rains so much that the worms flood out and it gets stinky.

I guess there is a good reason my first Photoshop project was the picture of raining Ginas.

note: anyone that wants to post a comment in the negative about the rain….don’t. Just saying. This is my happy, stay away.

10 thoughts on “Today is different

  1. I share in your happy, for I love the rain today as well!

    Pickle and Vlad (Rorschach, renamed) are watching the rain through the window. Vlad keeps licking the glass to lick the water drips, and has a very confused look on his face as getting to the water dribbles isn’t working!

  2. I’ve always liked the rain personally. :)

    Let the stormy clouds chase
    Everyone from the place
    Come on with the rain
    I’ve a smile on my face
    I walk down the lane
    With a happy refrain
    Just singin’,
    Singin’ in the rain

  3. dealing with other drivers is not a lot of fun, but I am enjoying the rain regardless

    and also the fact that everyone is so amazed that actual weather is happening outside :)

    and it is awesome cooking weather – you can cook and not melt – big win!

  4. I’ve always loved the rain. Growing up in Southern California, I used to just stand outside and soak it up when the rare rains fell. Now, in Portland, I am thrilled to feel the crisp in the air and the clean rains falling often.

  5. Sorry I couldn’t do lunch with you :( Stoopid Project Managers are being Stoopid and I’m fighting to get crap done in a timely fashion with inadquate tools.

    Casa de Faire closes this weekend after which my life returns to a semblance of normalcy.

    {grump} back to the salt mine.

  6. Pretty wet falling from the sky!!

    I really can’t think of a bad thing to say about rain other than that I found out the tent on my back deck isn’t as rain-proof as I thought and some of my stuff got wet. But, really, that’s a bad thing about the tent, not about the rain. (stupid leaky tent cover. grr.) So today at home depot I picked up some big plastic totes to put the stuff in so if the tent leaks again they’ll still be protected. Yay!

    Kitties were completely fascinated by it. The rain, not the tent cover.

  7. I’ve been looking forward to the return of the rain for months. I’m a sun person (from safely indoors or under a hat), so I prefer clear blue skies, but that’s not an issue at night. I love to hear the rain in the night. I love the drumming on the roof and the swooshing down the gutters.

    There were two seperate downpours today. Both times a co-worker, Laura, was out without an umbrella and got soaked.

    I hope your mood stays up enough to keep you moving and enjoying it!

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