I am having another day where I don’t want to live in this World. I really can’t stand Reality at this time. Even my nightmares are better than opening my eyes and seeing the world I have to live in.
And there isn’t anything I am attached to enough to make it worth the effort to change my Reality to match. It used to be if you don’t like your life change it. I haven’t liked my life for some time now but I don’t know what to change it into. And now I don’t have enough motivation or energy to do what I would need to to make any changes.
I feel like I am going down a hole. And part of me doesn’t care.
I’m very sorry to see this Dear. Molly, Joe and I have been talking about you a lot, and hopeful that things would start to get better.
You three have been talking about me a lot. Should I be worried?
Sadly I won’t be catching you at Costume Con. I am thinking of skipping it due to burn out and have managed to duck any responsibilities. Dorothy managed to find another CSI tech but I am still her back up if she needs it.
When I mentioned that Joe was coming with you, she asked where he is staying.
I’m having the opposite problem lately – can’t stand to sleep because of the awful places my mind goes when given the slightest bit of freedom.
Anyway, I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling cruddy. : (
I totally relate to the “don’t know what to change it into” sentiment, and lacking the motivation. I’ve felt that way alot over the past 6 months.
I don’t even know what to say.
Still love you.
I called my doc and got my prescription upped… as my depression was beating out the anti-depressant hands down.
I hate being medicated, but I hate it less than I hate feeling like I do when I hate living.
(((hug)))
I don’t even notice being medicated anymore.
Don’t you disappear down the Rabbit Hole. I need you to be my sounding board and Voice of Reason when I’m at my wits’ end. Guess who was playing w/ colored hot glue yesterday and got it all over the new chemise I’m working on? “Oh. I thought that was just scrap since it was on the floor.” Grrrrrrrr. It wasn’t on the floor when I left for work.
{{HUG}}
You know how to chase me down whatever Robbit Hole I find. You are good at that.
I can’t help but laugh at the hot glue story. You live in a house with two cats and an husband and you expect things to be where you last saw them? You funny.
World to live in
I have some real british Cadbury milk chocolate. I’ve still got a bit left. Would you like me to send some to you?
Re: World to live in
Thanks for the thought. I am suppose to avoid sugar but when I do go for it, I have a large supply. It provides a good numbness assuming I am not around others. That tends to wind me up and that is when Gina stories happen.
My favorite sugar delivery systems right now are peeps, peanut butter cups, mocha flavored chocolate and yes it is sad, Hersheys. I think because I have to avoid sugar so much, my fondness for Hersheys is nostalgia instead of quality of chocolate.