This is what I am putting out to the Universe as what I a looking for:
I want someone that is willing to look at themselves and see/acknowledge the truths they find. Someone who is willing to live the examined life. Someone that is honest with themselves. That way they can be honest with others.
I want someone that is honest with me and provides me the information I need or want.
I want someone that is strong enough to stand up to my energy. Someone that doesn’t back down just because it is easier. Someone who will confront me when I need to be confronted.
I want someone that is strong enough to deal with reality when they are faced with it. One of the things I do, that I can’t help do, is peel away illusion and make people deal with what is underneath. I need someone that can handle that.
I want someone that can let other people be who they are. Someone that can understand that their way might be just as right for them as some other way.
I want someone that will love me and accept me the way that I am. That wants me to be the most me that I can be. I am willing to change but if something can’t be changed, it has to be accepted as is and room made for it. Someone that can let me be me and be ok with that.
I want someone strong enough to help me see the truth of myself. To help me grow in the best way possible, to be the most me that I can be.
I want someone that knows when they are into their shit and can warn me away until they are better or can set it aside to work on it together.
I want someone who values what I have to offer. That I bring something wonderful into their life.
I want someone that will stretch me. That will show me thing that I haven’t seen before, lead me to experiences I haven’t had and wouldn’t do on my own. Someone to challenge me.
I want someone that can and will take care of me. To hold me and provide a safe place to be.
I want someone that I can take care of. Someone that is willing to be vulnerable around me. Someone that trusts that I will take a good care of them as they do of me.
I want someone that can communicate in a healthy way. Someone that is willing to put their ego aside and understand the issues involved and put energy into solving them.
I want someone that is really present with me. Someone that is really there with me. Someone that really listens to me. To really hear what I am saying. I want someone that recognizes that I do the same in return.
I want someone I can really connect with.
I want someone that I can share with. Someone that has enough shared interests that we can do things together without one of us giving something up or just tolerating the experience.
I want someone that appreciates the difference between Normal and Fantasy and values both.
I want someone that realizes the value is in the person, not the surface. Both for themselves and for others. Image is important but it is not all.
I want someone that can live on their own and not need me to support them, financially or emotionally, and depends on me to do the same. Someone that knows that the support is there but it is a benefit, not a requirement.
These are the things I want, the things I think I need. There are many ways to interpret each one. I find these are important to any relationship I have, even friendships. They just become more important the closer the relationship. For a lover, a mate, they are very important. This is what I learned out of the last relationship and I value this information greatly.
added June 14 2007
I want someone that is confident and competent. Someone that is comfortable in their own skill and is good at what they do.
I want someone that can be compassionate and caring. Someone that tries to see things from other people’s points of view and understand them or allow them to be themselves.
Here are the things that I asked the universe to provide me. I have found they are more surface than what I thought but they are still good. They are not requirements, just things I think would be good.
Self pres (5 or 8 or maybe even a 2) – enneagram stuff
About my height or taller
About my age
On a spiritual journey of some sort (this changed to personal introspection and growth because I am not even sure I can call what I am on a spiritual journey). Basically something like what I am doing, it would be really cool if it could be along the same lines.
Appreciates my strengths and weaknesses
Similar tastes
Sense of humor
What I would call good looking
Cares for his appearance within reason
Lives nearby (within 35 miles radius)
Avoids the sports thing
Good imagination
Provides information
Reasonably healthy in spirit, mind and body
Loves me
Will work with me
One of “my type of people” (pretty much fandom or geek)
Intelligent
Can and likes to dance
Can and will see the real me
Good for me
Has time for me
Can we add “good sex” in there? I mean, you deserve and will hopefully find someone with all of those qualities… but I also think we all deserved good sex… whatever our definition of that may be!!
*hugs*
Hoping he finds you soon – he doesn’t know what a wonderful woman he’s missing right now!!!
Actually, I think good sex is included. A lot of what I list can lead to good sex.
And truthfully sex isn’t that important to me. I love it, I want it, but I would trade it for other things.
The things I have listed are things that would be hard for me to trade in.
Mostly I want connection. That is the most important to me right now. And the ability to make a lasting relationship. I am tired of hurting myself on guys that can’t make it work with me. I am a great person for the right man. I am painful to the wrong ones. I want a right one.
Just out of curiousity – what’s your enneagram type again?
I am a counterphobic self pres 7 with a 6 wing that acts like a 5 a lot of the time. I am finding the 1 in me and it is not pretty. It has been well hidden for most of my life.
Apropos of nothing, one of the things that always strikes me as interesting is how important it is that I can do things that will make a lover happy in a semi-consistent manner, and how wonderful it is if she wants to be able to do the same thing.
It’s something I added to my own personal list once I’d had the experience with my ex-wife… if you wanted me to say what the most painful part of the relationship was, it was that I lost the ability to make her happy… and she seemed to lose interest in making me happy (though that was, in part, due to illness).
That’s not too much to ask for and you deserve no less. Well-writ.
Thank you. I feel it is a lot to ask for because I have not found it yet. The difficulty after finding this package is finding it in an available form at the right time. I am tired of getting attached to ones that don’t work. That disconnecting Hurts. I use to be good at letting go. Now I am either not as good at it or I understand that I wasn’t that good at it before.
At least, I feel I am closer to understanding what will work better. Of course that means my standards are higher and by the law of averages, it is going to be longer in finding.
BTW have we ever met? I can’t figure out who you are.
We have several friends in common, but I can’t be certain you and I have yet ever been in the same room at the same time. You commented in the journal of one of my friends some time ago, I don’t recall which person, or which comment, alas, but I have been reading you off and on since.
I really love the driver’s license thing, by the way.
~B
You commented in the journal of one of my friends some time ago, I don’t recall which person
I think Britgeekgrrl might be the friend’s blog in which the comment was posted.