A bit of an update.

Things are a little better this week.

I dug down and pulled out some old defenses that I had discarded over the last year and a half. While they didn’t fit so well to begin with, they are warming up and aren’t so stiff anymore and seem to be fitting better. There will be a price to pay, things I might have lost, things to clean up/repair later. My path is no longer going the direction it was. Time will tell if this is just a detour or an actual change in direction.

I also have a little responsibility. I am taking car of a neighbor’s cat and car for two weeks. I actually have to pay attention to something else besides me and make plans. This is a good thing. I also have access to their extensive DVD and CD collection. Looks like I will be catching up on shows I haven’t seen much of. This is actually part of the old defense mechanisms so again, this is good.

I went to a gathering last night and rediscovered the worth of meeting new people. I had forgotten how well I do with a mix of adapting to the environment/audience and a healthy dose of “this is who I am, deal with it.” I have been spending so much time and energy forming tighter bonds with my close friends, I forgot the joys of many friends of many levels. Another old defense mechanism back in action.

I also have next week to look forward to. My boss is out of the office for the week. A week on not needing to deal with his attitude or his passive/aggressive garbage. Plus I can probably get more job search stuff done as my work computer is my primary computer. It has all the neat toys and is speedy.

So while things are still really crappy and I don’t feel all that great and nothing is really resolved, I am handling things better and more able to appreciate the good things that are happening. I figured I should at least admit to a movement in a positive direction.