I am writing this to note the existence of this feeling and log when it happened.

I seem to be doing the food thing again. Last night I actually had to choose between a number of entire meals that I wanted enough to actually prepare. And I mean do some actual cooking-prepare, not throw frozen dinner in the microwave-prepare. Normally my choices are between things I am willing to consume.

I could have had asparagus ravioli with sun-dried alfredo sauce. Or spaghetti and garlic bread, or broccoli and cheese stuffed breaded chicken breast with pasta, or ribs and corn on the cob, or Mac N’Cheese with sauteed hot-dogs/sausage, or sloppy joes and salad, or pancakes. (For those that are nervous about the really fancy options, those are prepared pour-it-out-of-a-jar or throw-it-in-the-microwave things. They aren’t full meals by themselves and take a little work)

I ended up with the chicken and pasta and made crepes for desert. I have cake in the fridge that I decided to skip in favor or making crepes from scratch. I ate them with sugar-free Nutella wanna-be and sliced bananas. Yum.

A week ago Sat I prepared a plate of sliced tomatoes and shaved Monterey Jack cheese, a plate of chunks of cheese wrapped in sliced ham, a plate of fresh mushrooms (all three were covered in a roasted garlic vinaigrette) and a bowl of sugar snap peas.

The next Tuesday, I made pancakes to eat with apple sauce and my Nutella wanna-be.

Thursday, I made turkey sloppy joes and beef sloppy joes and salad (lettuce mix with chopped tomatoes, graded cheese, slivers of ham, hard boiled egg, fresh mushrooms) for friends and a movie.

Sat, I doctored a Tonino’s pizza with oregano, sweet basil, fennel seed, canned mushrooms, slices of ham, graded Monterey Jack cheese, roasted garlic and parmesan cheese and more salad.

I am quite enjoying the leftovers and pieces of meals in my fridge. This is an odd feeling for me since I don’t really like food and eating. Hungry doesn’t mean I need to eat. It means something tastes good and I want more. This usually happens at the end of a meal. Let me tell you it is a pain to be hungry when you are stuffed. When I first developed my energy/blood sugar problem, I needed to eat about 6 times a day, one diet had me eat certain things at one and a half hour intervals. The morning was spent preparing four meals to cover my time at work before I got home and could make more. Since I started not feeling well when I needed to eat and any time I waited after that meant that I continued on the downward slope and really didn’t want to eat, I needed to prepare food before I needed to eat it. With such a tight schedule, it was getting close to needing to preparing food right after I finished eating the last meal. Add to this the joy of not wanting to see what you just ate for at least a day if not a few days. And massive restrictions (no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol, nothing spicy and if you listened to the stupid nutritionist low in salt and fat because most Americans eat too much salt and fat), shop on a budget and you might be able to see where I get my ideas that I don’t like food or eating. Anyone commenting that they wish they had to eat 6 times a day, be prepared to have your ass handed to you for such a stupid comment. Wanting to be able to eat six times a day, maybe. But needing to eat six times a day, think about it real hard before letting it out of your head. This is every day, 365 days a year. You don’t know when or if it will ever end and if you miss any of those meals at any time, you will feel sick. Shaky, irritable, nauseated, weak and you will have to force food past that to get better.

This is why it is such a wonder when I actually am interested in food and preparing it. I can be a decent cook, I just don’t like to do it often.

Hmmm, I didn’t know this would turn into a “I Hate Food” rant. Guess it has been sitting inside festering for awhile and finally came out.