This is dedicated to sandpanther.
I got one of those funny emails that travel the net this morning and I love it so much I can’t help but share it. I am sure some of you have seen this already, but for those of you that haven’t…
Here are some actual error messages seen on computer screens in Japan, where some are written in Haiku.
Aren’t these better than “your computer has performed an illegal operation” or “page cannot be displayed?”
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Program aborting:
Close all that you
have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
A crash reduces your
expensive computer
to a simple stone.
Screen. Mind.
Both are blank.
The Web site you seek
cannot be located, but
countless more exist.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the
Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Your file was so big.
It might have been very useful.
But now it is gone.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred?
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold
the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
the document you’re seeking
must now be re-keyboarded.
Serious error.
All shortcuts
have disappeared.
I don’t think they are really used, even in Japan, although it would be funny if they were. This list (or variations) have been traveling around the net for years. My grandfather has made someone read it as part of our Christmas eve program for the past couple of years (along with more traditional things, like Dickens’).
I didn’t think they were any more real than wishful thinking could make them. But sometimes it is fun to live in a land of delusion.
In fact, the default error message setting for BeOS is haiku error messages. I don’t recall offhand if any of those were among them.
you missed one of my faves.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the True Tao
Until
You bring fresh toner.
The 404 message on http://www.mit.edu (which is the student-run server, not the official one) has been this haiku for years:
I ate your Web page.
Forgive me. It was juicy
And tart on my tongue.
I don’t think they came up with it though. It’s not at all zen, but it makes me laugh.
Somehow it’s not surprising that William Carlos Williams translates well into haiku.